"Pass Us by and Forgive Us Our Happiness"
Dostoevsky’s The Idiot
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John Koenig, in his book , The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows, coins a striking term— “Dead Reckoning”—to describe the peculiar grief we feel for someone we hardly knew, yet whose death leaves an indelible mark on us.
I wasn’t much more than a child when Marilyn Monroe died in 1962, but I can imagine the way her passing sent waves of mourning across the world. People who never met her still grieved, feeling the strange sting of loss.
And then there was that August morning, August 31, 1997. I still remember hearing the news over the radio —Princess Diana was dead. I had a speech to give that Sunday, but the words felt heavy in my mouth, like stones. The air in the room was thick, almost suffocating, as if the grief had weight, pressing down on all of us. It was everywhere, this sorrow for a woman most of us had only known through screens and headlines. Somehow, her death struck us deep.
What perplexes me is how we, as humans, carry this capacity for empathy. Why do we mourn the death of someone we’ve never met? I’ve been pondering this all week, especially as I watched people move through Glasgow Central Station—rushing down the stairs, passing a young girl quietly sitting in a sleeping bag, hoping for help, for someone to notice her. And yet, not a single person stopped.
Why is it that we can weep for a stranger thousands of miles away, but ignore the suffering of the person sitting right in front of us? Have we become desensitized, numbed by the endless tide of need we see on our streets? Or is it something more complicated, a defence mechanism in a world where the pain can sometimes feel too overwhelming to face?
It’s confusing, deeply so.
Note: When Prince Myshkin in Dostoevsky’s The Idiot returned from convalescing in Switzerland, He observed how society had lost their moral compass and declared "Pass Us by and Forgive Us Our Happiness."
“Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” — James: 1:27 ESV
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People Watching
When I get the chance, I like to get out and walk about in our local neighbourhoods, I find myself a little quiet place, get my coffee and find a seat and observe the people I see around me (I think it's called "people watching").
One particular area that I visit is Rustington High Street. It is so full of life and people of all ages; you can feel the energy of the community.
The town centre or high street is only one street about, about 1/4 mile in length, with shops on both sides facing each other. You will not find one shop that has been closed and the telltale sign of its windows boarded up.
There are shops of almost every kind, 5 coffee shops, 6 eating place and two supermarkets, a beautiful church of St Peters and St Pauls and a short walk away a Kingdom Hall. There is also a museum on the end of the high street, a plethora of health care facilities (Rustington has a nick name - "God's waiting room").
There are plenty of free car parking on both sides of the street with two large car parks just off the high street - all parking is free for the first hour. Come Xmas, the high street it is full of wonderful, coloured lights and displays.
You can find good videos of Rustington on the internet.
Why do I mention this?
Because as a Christian, my main focus in life is my ministry. Oh, I don't mean I go knocking on doors (I have none that many times) nor will you find me standing on a soap box (I did that once). It is a simple ministry where I look for and engage with people who clearly are in need of a little bit of support. I offer that support on a '121' basis as the spirit moves me - John 3:8.
I could relate the details but I'm happy that God knows what I do.
It's true what Jim says about the terrible pain and deaths of people in different countries that we are unable to fathom. But if we look for them, opportunities are always to be found to show love to our fellow neighbour in our local communities - Matt 5:16.
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Bless you John! I am reminded of Proverbs 19:17,
"Kindness to the poor is a loan to the LORD,
and He will repay the lender."