Personal Blogs

"If conscience leads you to shadowed paths, take heart; prophets trod there first."

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Leaving a religious group can feel like stepping into an unknown and often lonely space, where the familiar rhythms of community are replaced by silence and questions. It’s an act of courage, born from a longing for something truer, something better. But this journey is rarely straightforward. It’s often marked by a deep desire to find belonging again, to feel part of something meaningful. Yet, in that very search, it’s easy to stumble into the same patterns that led to frustration before.

When we leave, we often carry with us a longing for the ideals we once believed the group could embody—authentic love, shared purpose, and connection. In that longing, the pull toward a new community can feel almost irresistible. At first, it might seem like you’ve found what was missing—a fresh start, free from the old flaws and disappointments. But over time, familiar dynamics can emerge: rigid expectations, hierarchical control, or a sense of obligation that chips away at the freedom you sought. It’s not a failure to find yourself here; it’s human. We all yearn for connection, even when it comes with compromises.

This cycle can feel exhausting, even defeating. You might wonder, Why does this keep happening? And as that frustration builds, it’s natural to look back at the group you left with anger or bitterness, revisiting every hurt, every disappointment, as if doing so might finally release you. But often, this focus on the past becomes a trap of its own. Instead of freeing us, it ties us to what we hoped to leave behind, consuming our energy and keeping us from fully stepping into the present. 

Psalm 146:3 reminds us of a profound truth: “Do not put your trust in princes, in human beings, who cannot save.” These words, written thousands of years ago, still speak powerfully to us today. They remind us that human leaders—whether in the groups we leave or the ones we’re drawn to—are fallible. When we place too much trust in them, we set ourselves up for disillusionment. True peace doesn’t come from finding the perfect group or leader; it comes from anchoring our trust in God, who alone is constant and unfailing.

Jesus himself warned against relying on human authority to mediate our relationship with God. In Matthew 23:9, he says, “And do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven.” These words aren’t about rejecting community—they’re about freeing ourselves from the idea that our faith depends on any one person or group. Christ’s invitation is to find belonging in Him, where our worth isn’t measured by conformity but by the deep, unshakable love of God.

This doesn’t mean that community isn’t important—it is. We thrive when we’re connected to others who encourage us and walk alongside us. But a healthy community should support your personal relationship with God, not replace it. When we approach relationships with discernment, anchored in the confidence that our faith rests in God, we’re free to engage without losing ourselves.

The wilderness seasons of life—the times when we feel alone or untethered—are often where God meets us most intimately. Elijah discovered this when, after fleeing into the desert, he found God not in the noise of wind or fire but in a gentle whisper. It’s in these quiet spaces, stripped of distraction, that we can hear God’s voice most clearly, feel His presence most profoundly.

C.S. Lewis once described pain and solitude as God’s megaphone, awakening us to truths we might otherwise overlook. It’s in these moments of stillness that we’re reminded of a love that doesn’t demand performance or conformity but simply invites us to be. The journey away from a group isn’t just about leaving—it’s about discovering who you are in the light of God’s love, a love that doesn’t change or falter.

If you find yourself walking this road, know that you are not alone. The void you feel isn’t a sign of failure—it’s an opportunity to encounter God in a new and personal way. As Psalm 23:4 promises, “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.” This comfort isn’t distant or abstract; it’s the steady, quiet assurance that God walks with you, even in the uncertainty.

One day, you may look back on this season and see it not as a time of loss but as a chapter of growth—a time when your roots of faith stretched deeper, unshaken by the winds of disappointment. And as you move forward, you’ll carry with you a faith that is freer, truer, and stronger, rooted not in any human institution but in the boundless love of God.