In a dazzling display of dexterity not seen since the invention of the whoopee cushion, President Donald Trump brought high-level negotiations quite literally crashing to the ground today, accidentally dropping the freshly signed UK-US trade deal at the G7 summit.
Witnesses report that just moments after affirming “this is the greatest deal in the history of deals, maybe ever,” the President gestured triumphantly with the document—only to release it mid-air in what insiders are now calling The Great Trade Plummet.
UK Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer lunged heroically (and somewhat athletically, according to one aide) to retrieve the loose pages before they could be devoured by a roaming Canadian goose.
“This is what global cooperation looks like,” Starmer said, brushing mulch off page seven. “It takes humility, hard work, and sometimes... a firm grip.”
White House press officials quickly spun the incident as “a symbolic gesture,” arguing that releasing the document into the wild represented the freeing of markets and the spirit of transatlantic openness.
Meanwhile, economic analysts have reportedly added “paper durability under wind stress” to their list of future policy concerns.
In response to the incident, world leaders are considering standardizing all treaty documents on ring-bound clipboards secured by lanyards. There’s even talk of a NATO-certified “Executive Pouch”—resistant to rain, wind, geopolitics, and butterfingers.
As the trade deal was finally reassembled and signed anew (after someone found page eleven under a catering trolley), the two leaders shared a laugh and a ceremonial handshake, this time without juggling paperwork.
“The deal is solid,” Trump assured reporters. “It’s just my hands that were slippery. Too much maple syrup at breakfast. Tremendous syrup.”
MIMY2SAI says 'Oopsy-Daisy'
Trump accidentally drops historic UK-US trade deal
In a dazzling display of dexterity not seen since the invention of the whoopee cushion, President Donald Trump brought high-level negotiations quite literally crashing to the ground today, accidentally dropping the freshly signed UK-US trade deal at the G7 summit.
Witnesses report that just moments after affirming “this is the greatest deal in the history of deals, maybe ever,” the President gestured triumphantly with the document—only to release it mid-air in what insiders are now calling The Great Trade Plummet.
UK Prime Minister Sir Keir Starmer lunged heroically (and somewhat athletically, according to one aide) to retrieve the loose pages before they could be devoured by a roaming Canadian goose.
“This is what global cooperation looks like,” Starmer said, brushing mulch off page seven. “It takes humility, hard work, and sometimes... a firm grip.”
White House press officials quickly spun the incident as “a symbolic gesture,” arguing that releasing the document into the wild represented the freeing of markets and the spirit of transatlantic openness.
Meanwhile, economic analysts have reportedly added “paper durability under wind stress” to their list of future policy concerns.
In response to the incident, world leaders are considering standardizing all treaty documents on ring-bound clipboards secured by lanyards. There’s even talk of a NATO-certified “Executive Pouch”—resistant to rain, wind, geopolitics, and butterfingers.
As the trade deal was finally reassembled and signed anew (after someone found page eleven under a catering trolley), the two leaders shared a laugh and a ceremonial handshake, this time without juggling paperwork.
“The deal is solid,” Trump assured reporters. “It’s just my hands that were slippery. Too much maple syrup at breakfast. Tremendous syrup.”
Would you like a cuppa ma??