Edited by Martin Cadwell, Saturday, 12 July 2025, 08:51
If you are following the serialised 'Spirit and Alien Party' story, there is not likely to be another chapter / episode until Sunday 13th July or Monday 14th July.
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[ 5 minute read ]
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Cool, Man
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I have three lap-tops and a peripheral monitor. I have a kettle and an electric cooker. I have a fridge/freezer. I also have an immersion heater and my own body. These are the things I can control. I currently only use one lap-top and not the peripheral monitor.
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You might ask why I have grouped these together as things I want to control. The common denominator is the heat that comes from all of these.
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You might, with a little scrutiny, see that I have put things in sub-sets. The lap-tops and monitor give off heat as a waste by-product. The kettle and electric cooker are supposed to heat things; but the kettle could be more insulated against the ambient air. The immersion heater should heat water but is insulated, though not enough for my liking because the water pipes leading to the taps are not insulated, and my body, of course, is insulated against the ambient air, but must not be entirely so. The fridge/freezer is a weird one because it is supposed to cool the cupboard inside, but does this by taking the heat out and dumping it into the ambient air.
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All these are adding to the heat that is already in my home. I can remove myself from the heat-producers, but I have to be here to open and shut windows at appropriate times.
.
What, may you ask brought on this demi-rant? News anchors on the telly telling us how hot it is and has been. I don’t have a television, but I have a friend who does. He has a big telly. When it is on, if you hold your hand in front of the screen, you can feel a lot of heat coming off it. It really is like a radiator in Winter keeping a room at a mild temperature; you know, a room that isn’t used much but the temperature might need to be raised quickly for some reason.
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‘It is so hot in here!’ cries my friend in his home to me. His telly is on but he isn’t really watching it.
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Two things here that clang together in my mind and make another group and I shall be gentle with this, Idiot! I used French there to soften the blow. (‘Le sot’ is also a good one).
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I would say, ‘Turn the telly off then.’ But, first I would have to explain why it is a good idea to shut the curtains against the sun in the east, south and west. That is ‘Keeping Cool 101’. He isn’t ready for education after compulsory state education. Sure, he would understand it, a bit, but it wouldn’t really soak in enough to make him realise that being lazy and not moving too much is not enough to avoid sweating.
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Of course, I only rarely visit him, and the temperature outside his home is a little higher than inside, one or two degrees Centigrade, I would guess. Explaining to him that he should open his windows in the early morning and then shut them when the outside temperature reaches the same temperature inside would overload his sensibility. It just does not work in his head. He opens the window during the hottest part of the day to cool down, and then shuts them in the evenings. I know, it just makes no sense, does it?
.
If I told him to buy two thermometers and hang one inside and one outside so he would know when to open and shut his windows, he would just smile at me and say, ‘Yeah, I know.’ He doesn’t know. He is one of those people who don’t want to appear to be an idiot (French again) by asking questions, so he remains forever uneducated. What an ‘idiot’ (German that time). Funny how using a different language softens the blow, isn’t it? It’s humour at its best.
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So, newswoman and newsman on my friend’s telly and my radio, why are you telling us how hot we are? Why don’t you tell us to buy two thermometers and think about how to use our windows and curtains? Why don’t you tell us to visit an elderly person and switch their telly off (maybe take the plug off too)? How to be mean to your grandparents and save their lives. Why don’t you tell us to boil a kettle to have a wash, instead of heat the whole immersion heater? Why don’t you tell us to stop using the electric grill to make toast? Oh, and stop eating cheese on toast and FRY your bacon and sausages.
.
‘Today…you are really hot! You are hot here. You are hot there. Old people are really hot. People have left their homes and gone to the sea-side’, where it is still hot, but windier. When they get home to their homes with all the windows shut against burglars they will actually think they are clever to flee the heat. At least the kids had a good time in the sand.
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Why doesn’t someone send my downstairs neighbour a pamphlet on keeping his home cool? I forgot to say; the greatest heat source in my home is my floor. I wonder, if I died from too much heat would he be criminally negligent for manslaughter. I failed tort law at ‘A’ level (level 3).
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The best way to keep the heat from the sun out, is to have your curtains on the outside of your windows, which makes the neighbours look down on you. So very British to suffer rather than be sensible. So, if you have a little money and believe that our Summers will be like this one for the foreseeable future, start a shut-up company (Freudian slip – still thinking about news-people), a shutter company.
That's really cool
.
.
[ 5 minute read ]
.
Cool, Man
.
I have three lap-tops and a peripheral monitor. I have a kettle and an electric cooker. I have a fridge/freezer. I also have an immersion heater and my own body. These are the things I can control. I currently only use one lap-top and not the peripheral monitor.
.
You might ask why I have grouped these together as things I want to control. The common denominator is the heat that comes from all of these.
.
You might, with a little scrutiny, see that I have put things in sub-sets. The lap-tops and monitor give off heat as a waste by-product. The kettle and electric cooker are supposed to heat things; but the kettle could be more insulated against the ambient air. The immersion heater should heat water but is insulated, though not enough for my liking because the water pipes leading to the taps are not insulated, and my body, of course, is insulated against the ambient air, but must not be entirely so. The fridge/freezer is a weird one because it is supposed to cool the cupboard inside, but does this by taking the heat out and dumping it into the ambient air.
.
All these are adding to the heat that is already in my home. I can remove myself from the heat-producers, but I have to be here to open and shut windows at appropriate times.
.
What, may you ask brought on this demi-rant? News anchors on the telly telling us how hot it is and has been. I don’t have a television, but I have a friend who does. He has a big telly. When it is on, if you hold your hand in front of the screen, you can feel a lot of heat coming off it. It really is like a radiator in Winter keeping a room at a mild temperature; you know, a room that isn’t used much but the temperature might need to be raised quickly for some reason.
.
‘It is so hot in here!’ cries my friend in his home to me. His telly is on but he isn’t really watching it.
.
Two things here that clang together in my mind and make another group and I shall be gentle with this, Idiot! I used French there to soften the blow. (‘Le sot’ is also a good one).
.
I would say, ‘Turn the telly off then.’ But, first I would have to explain why it is a good idea to shut the curtains against the sun in the east, south and west. That is ‘Keeping Cool 101’. He isn’t ready for education after compulsory state education. Sure, he would understand it, a bit, but it wouldn’t really soak in enough to make him realise that being lazy and not moving too much is not enough to avoid sweating.
.
Of course, I only rarely visit him, and the temperature outside his home is a little higher than inside, one or two degrees Centigrade, I would guess. Explaining to him that he should open his windows in the early morning and then shut them when the outside temperature reaches the same temperature inside would overload his sensibility. It just does not work in his head. He opens the window during the hottest part of the day to cool down, and then shuts them in the evenings. I know, it just makes no sense, does it?
.
If I told him to buy two thermometers and hang one inside and one outside so he would know when to open and shut his windows, he would just smile at me and say, ‘Yeah, I know.’ He doesn’t know. He is one of those people who don’t want to appear to be an idiot (French again) by asking questions, so he remains forever uneducated. What an ‘idiot’ (German that time). Funny how using a different language softens the blow, isn’t it? It’s humour at its best.
.
So, newswoman and newsman on my friend’s telly and my radio, why are you telling us how hot we are? Why don’t you tell us to buy two thermometers and think about how to use our windows and curtains? Why don’t you tell us to visit an elderly person and switch their telly off (maybe take the plug off too)? How to be mean to your grandparents and save their lives. Why don’t you tell us to boil a kettle to have a wash, instead of heat the whole immersion heater? Why don’t you tell us to stop using the electric grill to make toast? Oh, and stop eating cheese on toast and FRY your bacon and sausages.
.
‘Today…you are really hot! You are hot here. You are hot there. Old people are really hot. People have left their homes and gone to the sea-side’, where it is still hot, but windier. When they get home to their homes with all the windows shut against burglars they will actually think they are clever to flee the heat. At least the kids had a good time in the sand.
.
Why doesn’t someone send my downstairs neighbour a pamphlet on keeping his home cool? I forgot to say; the greatest heat source in my home is my floor. I wonder, if I died from too much heat would he be criminally negligent for manslaughter. I failed tort law at ‘A’ level (level 3).
.
The best way to keep the heat from the sun out, is to have your curtains on the outside of your windows, which makes the neighbours look down on you. So very British to suffer rather than be sensible. So, if you have a little money and believe that our Summers will be like this one for the foreseeable future, start a shut-up company (Freudian slip – still thinking about news-people), a shutter company.
.