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   The last 'chapter' of the Spirit and Alien Party story has been uploaded as a docx file in the post entitled Spirit and Alien Party, with the tags spirit party, spirit and alien party

Spiders like me

[ 4 minute read, at 259 words per minute ]

I have just watched a Thunderfly meander across my view inside the screen of my laptop. I hope there is not a nest of them gathered around the CPU.

Spiders seem to like me and come to me for help. Yesterday one came over to me unsolicited. As predators, we are attracted by movement. However, we tend to filter out little jerky movements; otherwise we would always be frightened of leaves trembling in a light wind. Spiders, with their eight legs cause their bodies to move smoothly but with jerky leg movements. I think that is what is so scary for many people; it is something we simply do not experience in combination in nature in our safe homes. I suggest that if we have an expensive analogue watch with a sweeping second hand and a clunky minute hand that changed position once every minute, we would be scared of our watch.

There are three spiders, I think, in the UK that will bite us and it will hurt. I have been bitten by two of them. However, the spider I saw yesterday was either a House Spider or a Cardinal Spider, I think. It was a BIG Garden Spider. It came running towards me across the floor on my right side. My peripheral vision picked it up as a threat, just as it should be considered to be. 

       'Hey, Big Guy!' It might have been saying that. However, I tend to think it was about to run up my bare leg and up to my face. I wouldn't have liked that.

I rather think spiders might be more intelligent than we give them credit for. Garden Spiders come into our homes and are friendly. I don't know anyone that has been bitten by a Garden Spider, but any kind of tickle on my legs is an alarm call to me that I am about to be bitten by a fly of some kind. Sometimes, European Hornets angrily bump into me, even at three in the morning. You can hear them loudly beat their wings and they just fly straight into you with a significant bump. 

Once the spider knew I had seen it, it stopped about three feet (one metre) away from me. Seeing that I stood up, it moved to one side, right up to my shoes, out of the way when I went into the kitchen. It didn't try to hide, or run away though. It didn't seem to be in the mood for fun, like some spider-rascals are; nor did it show that it was scared because all its legs were touching the floor. 

I fetched a mug, and a piece of card to gather it up, expecting that it would have moved on and I would have to hunt for it. But, it was patiently waiting for me to come back. It hadn't even turned round to watch me. I couldn't help thinking that it was expecting to being handled and wanted to go back outside.

The mug was too small to completely cover it. It obligingly pulled in a couple of legs and I trapped it. (I have just now measured the diameter of the mug I used - 7.5cm or 3 inches). 

With the card slid under it, I carried it to a window and threw it out; just like it has been thrown out countless times before. I think I might even recognise it, except it is always bigger than last time. It scampers in the front door sometimes, because there is a good hunting ground for it right outside and I suspect it just wants some shade, and maybe eat some house-spiders or the numerous long-bodied cellar spiders in my home, or something.

I hope it comes back. They can die outside in some weather conditions.

I know that many people are scared of spiders, so I won't tell you about the one in my bed that bit my hip three years ago. I will tell you that it hurt for a full week that had me eating paracetamol daily, and then for the next week, before I forgot it. I have been stung by a bumble bee, a wasp, a hornet, this spider, and bitten by ants. In terms of immediate pain the hornet wins; in terms of consistent pain, the little 2cm spider in my bed, wins by far. The black woolly caterpillar, whichever kind it is, hurts as well.

The reason I think spiders are clever is because there was a black one that looked like one that might try to bite me, in my bathroom. It kept getting into a little crevice where I couldn't reach it. Eventually I called on my friend, Permithrin, which lives in an aerosol can labeled insect killer.

I stayed in the bathroom doing something else and then went into my living room. At the time, I was wearing cargo trousers and checked the side pocket for anything that might in in it, by putting my hand on the outside of it. I felt wriggling and cupped the spider in my hand (very, very briefly). It had scampered out of the crevice, down the wall, across the bathroom floor, over my socked foot, and up the outside of my trousers (thank goodness). Permithrin will kill spiders, insects and goldfish. Plainly, this spider was asking for my help. Spiders do not run towards humans with binocular vision unless they are going to attack. Ah, maybe it thought, 'If I am going, I am going to take you with me.' But, I don't think so. I don't think spiders are so intelligent that they know we use chemicals to kill them. I think it thought it had just been poisoned somehow.

       'Help me!'

I threw it on the floor and hit it with a wooden spoon. I think it was one of the UK indigenous spiders with a painful bite. I feel immense guilt for killing it. It could have been asking for help. I panicked. I looked up what it might have been and settled on either a Green-fanged Tube Web Spider, or a Black Lace Weaver Spider, but it could have been a less venomous Mouse Spider, I suppose.

A couple of young Queen ants have looked at me funny too.

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