Edited by Martin Cadwell, Friday 5 September 2025 at 07:02
Unfortunately, I am experiencing some difficulty in being confident that the creativity in my posts will not be high-jacked. I carefully craft a scene with contrasts and surprises only to have the 'tyres on my bicycle' subsequently deflated. In some way, this acts as a 'spoiler' and my PTSD is triggered. I feel bullied. I deliberately leave out content for the reader to have some space for thought. However, the energy is subsequently being sapped or tapped.
I write posts as a hobby that I can do by myself. It allows me to explore myself through creativity. However, I feel undermined lately. If I make a poor clay facsimile of a figure and I am proud of it, I don't want someone subsequently describing the clay or the process or how the light falls on it.
Until I can safeguard my safe area, in which I can play, I shall not be able to fully enjoy the experience of writing. It is the predators that haunt me most; they sit and wait for something alive and tasty to digest and then regurgitate it, leaving only carrion where once there was life. It is precisely that type of person who cemented PTSD in me.
I share myself and how PTSD affects me. Every post I write is shaped by that mental illness. It is extremely personal, but also cathartic. I completely and absolutely do not want a fly in the ointment. I am not writing in the past. I write as the healing process continues, as I become more confident.
I feel that the clay I am moulding is pierced with someone else's pain.
Temporary Problem
Unfortunately, I am experiencing some difficulty in being confident that the creativity in my posts will not be high-jacked. I carefully craft a scene with contrasts and surprises only to have the 'tyres on my bicycle' subsequently deflated. In some way, this acts as a 'spoiler' and my PTSD is triggered. I feel bullied. I deliberately leave out content for the reader to have some space for thought. However, the energy is subsequently being sapped or tapped.
I write posts as a hobby that I can do by myself. It allows me to explore myself through creativity. However, I feel undermined lately. If I make a poor clay facsimile of a figure and I am proud of it, I don't want someone subsequently describing the clay or the process or how the light falls on it.
Until I can safeguard my safe area, in which I can play, I shall not be able to fully enjoy the experience of writing. It is the predators that haunt me most; they sit and wait for something alive and tasty to digest and then regurgitate it, leaving only carrion where once there was life. It is precisely that type of person who cemented PTSD in me.
I share myself and how PTSD affects me. Every post I write is shaped by that mental illness. It is extremely personal, but also cathartic. I completely and absolutely do not want a fly in the ointment. I am not writing in the past. I write as the healing process continues, as I become more confident.
I feel that the clay I am moulding is pierced with someone else's pain.