Edited by Jim McCrory, Wednesday 1 April 2026 at 15:18
Don’t Do That, It Hurts
One lesson I learned earlier in life is that you cannot contend with a proud person.
Pride is strangely resistant—it doesn’t bend when confronted; it hardens. When someone is set on protecting their own image, which is the bottom line with pride, even obvious truth can feel like an attack. So instead of yielding, they defend, deflect, or deny. Trying to “win” against that kind of posture only deepens the divide and will make you feel low with a sense of injustice.
And then there’s the proud person who comes back and apologises every time they damage the equilibrium, only to do it all over again—never changing. On the other hand, there’s the type who rallies others who have some gripe against you and, in an “honour among thieves” kind of way, find evidence that they are right.
What you begin to realise—often after frustration—is this: you can’t force humility into someone else. It has to grow from within them, often through their own experiences, not through being corrected.
“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” (Proverbs 11:2)
That verse carries a quiet weight. Pride leads to disgrace—not always immediately, but eventually. Proud people eventually lose out in many aspects of life. But more importantly, the Bible says that God distances Himself from the proud and draws close to the humble. Humility—that’s where wisdom lives. Not loud, not defensive—just steady and open.
There is also a kind of peace in stepping back from the need to prove someone wrong. It doesn’t mean pretending they’re right. It means choosing not to wrestle with something that won’t yield.
It drains you to keep pressing into someone who will not listen. It slowly pulls at your peace. And if you’re not careful, it can begin to change you—making you defensive, frustrated, drawn into the same spirit. It may mean that eventually you have to step away and change those you associate with. This may involve life-changing decisions—a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a family member, or others. Otherwise, what’s the alternative?
Scripture gives both patience and a boundary:
“Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.” (Titus 3:10)
There is space to try—but not endlessly, otherwise we get wound up by their arrogance. I’ve known people who have never said, “I was wrong.”
This is not always simple. The person may be a workmate, a family member—someone you cannot avoid. But even then, you can withdraw in how you engage. You can step back before you find yourself becoming like them, as Scripture warns.
That distance gives space—for you to keep your peace, and for them, perhaps, to reflect.
But don’t despair if they don’t change. Some never do.
Your path is still clear.
You can walk in wisdom. You can protect your heart from unnecessary harm. You can let truth stand without forcing it.
And sometimes, the wiser choice is not to win—but to step back, and remain whole, unhurt.
Don’t Do That, It Hurts
Don’t Do That, It Hurts
One lesson I learned earlier in life is that you cannot contend with a proud person.
Pride is strangely resistant—it doesn’t bend when confronted; it hardens. When someone is set on protecting their own image, which is the bottom line with pride, even obvious truth can feel like an attack. So instead of yielding, they defend, deflect, or deny. Trying to “win” against that kind of posture only deepens the divide and will make you feel low with a sense of injustice.
And then there’s the proud person who comes back and apologises every time they damage the equilibrium, only to do it all over again—never changing. On the other hand, there’s the type who rallies others who have some gripe against you and, in an “honour among thieves” kind of way, find evidence that they are right.
What you begin to realise—often after frustration—is this: you can’t force humility into someone else. It has to grow from within them, often through their own experiences, not through being corrected.
“When pride comes, then comes disgrace, but with humility comes wisdom.” (Proverbs 11:2)
That verse carries a quiet weight. Pride leads to disgrace—not always immediately, but eventually. Proud people eventually lose out in many aspects of life. But more importantly, the Bible says that God distances Himself from the proud and draws close to the humble. Humility—that’s where wisdom lives. Not loud, not defensive—just steady and open.
There is also a kind of peace in stepping back from the need to prove someone wrong. It doesn’t mean pretending they’re right. It means choosing not to wrestle with something that won’t yield.
It drains you to keep pressing into someone who will not listen. It slowly pulls at your peace. And if you’re not careful, it can begin to change you—making you defensive, frustrated, drawn into the same spirit. It may mean that eventually you have to step away and change those you associate with. This may involve life-changing decisions—a boyfriend, a girlfriend, a family member, or others. Otherwise, what’s the alternative?
Scripture gives both patience and a boundary:
“Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.” (Titus 3:10)
There is space to try—but not endlessly, otherwise we get wound up by their arrogance. I’ve known people who have never said, “I was wrong.”
This is not always simple. The person may be a workmate, a family member—someone you cannot avoid. But even then, you can withdraw in how you engage. You can step back before you find yourself becoming like them, as Scripture warns.
That distance gives space—for you to keep your peace, and for them, perhaps, to reflect.
But don’t despair if they don’t change. Some never do.
Your path is still clear.
You can walk in wisdom. You can protect your heart from unnecessary harm. You can let truth stand without forcing it.
And sometimes, the wiser choice is not to win—but to step back, and remain whole, unhurt.