Edited by Jim McCrory, Saturday 27 June 2026 at 10:37
"We are not confined to our own happiness.
We are able to live, however briefly, inside someone else's."
All Things Considered; How Good To Be Alive
“How are you, Jim?”
"Well, I have neuroendocrine cancer in three organs. The tumours have begun developing again, so instead of PRRT I am now on chemotherapy. This week I suffered an episode that ended with an emergency admission to hospital."
If I answered the question truthfully, that would be my reply.
Instead, I usually say, "All things considered, it's good to be alive."
Some people send a message afterwards. Others never do or only to invite me to a meeting. Some disappear into the background of life as though nothing had been said. It leaves me wondering whether "How are you?" has ceased to be a question at all and become little more than a polite sound we make before moving on. However, there are genuine comforters that come into my life.
Perhaps that says something about our age.
We have never had more ways of communicating, yet genuine human attentiveness seems increasingly scarce. We have learned how to acknowledge one another without necessarily engaging with one another. We can ask after someone's welfare without really wanting to know the answer.
Empathy costs something. It requires time. It requires emotional investment. Sometimes it requires us to step into another person's pain, knowing there is nothing we can do to fix it. It is easier to keep the conversation light, to exchange pleasantries, and carry on with our own concerns.
Yet those who are suffering notice the difference.
They remember the friend who asked a second question. They remember the person who texted the following day. They remember the quiet visitor who simply sat with them. They remember those who did not rush past their pain.
Cancer has taught me many things, but one of them is this: people seldom remember the perfection of our words. They remember whether we cared enough to remain present.
"How are you?" is a beautiful question—if we are willing to stay long enough to hear the answer.
Postscript
"The living, the living—they praise you, as I am doing today."
All Things Considered; How Good To Be Alive
"We are not confined to our own happiness.
We are able to live, however briefly, inside someone else's."
All Things Considered; How Good To Be Alive
“How are you, Jim?”
"Well, I have neuroendocrine cancer in three organs. The tumours have begun developing again, so instead of PRRT I am now on chemotherapy. This week I suffered an episode that ended with an emergency admission to hospital."
If I answered the question truthfully, that would be my reply.
Instead, I usually say, "All things considered, it's good to be alive."
Some people send a message afterwards. Others never do or only to invite me to a meeting. Some disappear into the background of life as though nothing had been said. It leaves me wondering whether "How are you?" has ceased to be a question at all and become little more than a polite sound we make before moving on. However, there are genuine comforters that come into my life.
Perhaps that says something about our age.
We have never had more ways of communicating, yet genuine human attentiveness seems increasingly scarce. We have learned how to acknowledge one another without necessarily engaging with one another. We can ask after someone's welfare without really wanting to know the answer.
Empathy costs something. It requires time. It requires emotional investment. Sometimes it requires us to step into another person's pain, knowing there is nothing we can do to fix it. It is easier to keep the conversation light, to exchange pleasantries, and carry on with our own concerns.
Yet those who are suffering notice the difference.
They remember the friend who asked a second question. They remember the person who texted the following day. They remember the quiet visitor who simply sat with them. They remember those who did not rush past their pain.
Cancer has taught me many things, but one of them is this: people seldom remember the perfection of our words. They remember whether we cared enough to remain present.
"How are you?" is a beautiful question—if we are willing to stay long enough to hear the answer.
Postscript
"The living, the living—they praise you, as I am doing today."
— Isaiah 38:19
Bible from BSB public domain