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Experiment in the Kitchen

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Edited by Martin Cadwell, Saturday 12 September 2026 at 09:23

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Experiment in the Kitchen

[ 2 minute read ]

Opinion 

If you like Baked Beans don't add too much vinegar and lemon juice to them. Also, despite what your imagination tells you from your experiences of putting a few drops of Grant's Whiskey in your scrambled egg, making scrambled eggs with half a cake recipe won't always taste good. I mean, by all means add some ground ginger and a pinch of cinnamon and leave out the butter, sugar and flour, just don't expect to get the heightened taste that evaporating alcohol provides.

I like to experiment in the kitchen. If I was my own pastry chef I would quit. Fresh mint in the Blackberry and Tomato pie? Are you serious? Yeah, why not? It was years ago that I put Marmite in my Peanut Butter sandwich; now you can buy it in a jar. Why? Isn't that just the epitome of laziness by subscribing to someone else's tastes? Believe it not, if you don't have enough blackberries for a pie you can pad it out with tomatoes or beetroot or rhubarb. I wouldn't put rhubarb in though, tasty as it is, because it contains oxalic acid, and I have seen it under a microscope. Nasty! My kidneys! My poor kidneys!

There are, to my mind, two types of cooks; the traditional one who, let's face it, was taught how to cook by someone familiar with wartime rationing; and the experimental cook who likes flavours and can remember what stuff tastes like before they eat it again. I was buying Marmite in an ALDI supermarket; the best place to meet people, or if you are mischievous have some fun. I don't mean sneak produce into other people's trolleys so they are surprised when they unpack at home; I mean by telling wild stories, and by verbally expressed invention.

       'I put a dob of Marmite in the frying pan with mackerel fillets. You know, it is so easy to over-cook fish but I also like that kind of burnt background taste.' I announced.

The Indian woman was intrigued.

       'Could you put strips of mackerel in with the Marmite.' she asked, tilting her head.

       'Of course! However you like!' I replied, pleased to meet an interesting person.

       'Oooh no!' The elderly lady listening in shook her head. 'Oooh no.' I couldn't help thinking that experimenting in the kitchen meant for her, putting the carrots on to boil before the Brussels sprouts, one crazy and tipsy Sunday afternoon. Much more, not letting them boil into mush is just plain wrong because 'al dente' is foreign Italian muck. It would be Bread and Butter Pudding and Victoria Sponges at her house and never Woodapple and condensed milk tart, and definitely not 'torte', or Apple Strudel.

'You can lead a horse to water but you cannot make it drink'. It was Oliver Hardy who said that to Stanley Laurel in a film that got me to start to understand stubbornness; which is really a lack of imagination or fear of the unknown. Yet, if you did know rationing and you taught your offspring cooking you would not be inclined to experiment with perfectly good food in case it went wrong. The standing joke in my home when I was a child was that my dad once made a stew that even the chickens wouldn't eat. He did make good crisps and steak sandwiches though.

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