Personal Blogs

As you may, or may not, have seen on the news this week, we had the 'Glorious Twelfth'. This is where sections of the Unionist and Loyalist community come out to march and celebrate the victory of the Protestant King, William of Orange over the Catholic King, James. This all happened several hundred years ago but you couldn't beat the Norn (Ire)landers for their long memories!  They make elephants envious!!

Anyway, back in the day, when NI was ruled by Unionists, they could pretty much march wherever they wanted but since we've had 'peace', the nationalist community has decided it doesn't want a load of Orangemen marching down their streets and they can now object and refuse. So, in Ardoyne, in Belfast, the two sides live in quite close proximity so, every year, one side wants to march and the other side objects. And every year, as usual, it ends in rioting with the police stuck somewhere in the middle and bearing the brunt of the abuse, not to mention, of course, the thousands of pounds it costs the public purse! (this is a very simplified out-line, there are numerous sub-texts to all of this, which I really don't want to bore you all with, I've been bored by it for years).

By the way, did you know that there are more 'peace lines' in Belfast now than there were throughout the Troubles!  The politics of NI is like a child with a scab on their knee that they keep picking at!  This was one area the Good Friday agreement seriously missed out on. They should have banned all commemorations, marches and all other demonstrations that related to Republican or Unionist politics for a period of at least 50 years to really give us all some peace. 

Do you remember this same debacle, at Drumcree near Portadown that dominated the news several years ago. Unbelievably, or not, they're still whinging about it. What always amazes me about these situations is how people that thick-skinned can all be so easily offended. 

I think they should tear down all the peace walls and keep the police out of it and let them knock blue blazes out of each other until they finally realise that these people are always going to be here and they are going to have to learn to live with them.

Here's another ironic fact about NI. Throughout the troubles, the rate of mixed marriages in NI (ie: between Protestant and Catholic) was one in three!  There isn't a family here that doesn't have a relative or two who have married into the other side. 

Another big step to finally ending all this nonsense would be to integrate all the schools unfortunately, this is unlikely to happen as the Catholic Church has a strong grip on the education of Catholic children which is even more amazing considering all the paedophile scandals of the last few years!  But we're nothing if not forgiving (blind) to the sins of our own side. Urrgghhh! (sorry almost choked writing that last bit!)

Anyway, and so it rumbles on, and on, year after year, after...zzzzzzzzzzz!!  Sorry, dropped off there for a minute!

'Can't the politicians sort it out', I hear you say, 'don't they have their own parliament over there now, like Scotland and Wales??'

Aha ha aha aha ahh ha ha ahahahhahha!! 

Sorry.....yes we do, our very own wee political meeting house up in Stormont where they get to argue about how to spend the pocket money from London. Tis a joy to behold, the oul enemies of yore, all dressed up in their best suits playing at being proper politicians and trying to act like the grown-ups in the House of Commons.

AAAHHH HA AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! Sorry, or should that have been LOL LOL LOL!!

Sorry, about that, I'm a bit giddy tonight! Oh, I've just realized, LOL over here, also stands for Loyal Orange Lodge, lol, lol, lol, AGAIN!! 

Och, ye cuddent mick it up!  That's Ulster Scots, by the way!  You didn't know I was an Ulster Scots speaker did you, I didn't either but there you go!  Ulster Scots is a language now too!  Well, if the Fenian's (Irish Catholics) have a language, the other side have to have one too. 

'If yer gan awa' hame, mick sure the dooog is a'right.'  That translates to, 'If you are going home please check that the dog is ok'.

I know it sounds like English spoken with a thick Scottish accent but what do I know and there isn't one registered speaker of this language either. Maybe I should register, I might be able to get a grant from the Ulster Scots Coouncil. Och aye, they get thoosands o' poounds a year fer the promotion o' the 'Ulster Scots Culture and Language'. They have a big shiny office up in Belfast, it's on Great Victoria Street, not far from the Bus Centre, it wid be easy te find. Who knows, maybe a cud git a jawb there, I could be a translator for English tourists who don't speak the lingo...wat de ye think, eh?

Well, isn't it good to know that while we're all watching the pennies in this time of austerity, that our taxes are doing so much good, and being directed to those areas of greatest need over here in NI!!