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Success and its opposite

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The moment of truth has arrived.  I have my course books and the website will be available later this week.   At that point I will be able to see my assignments for the next year.   Two speaking assignments, two written assignments and an exam.  I am terrified of the spoken ones, as I am worried about my pronunciation, about sounding awkward as if I am reading, or having long pauses while I gather the words in my head.  The writing shouldn’t be so hard, but I am finding it hard to write coherently in another language.  The sentences are clumsy and awkward like a five year old’s first story.

I’m not even thinking about the exam.  I still have terrible memories of oral French exam at school.  Complete emptiness inside my head, I probably couldn’t have answered questions in English, let alone French. 

I’m starting to wonder why I am doing this to myself.  I have always thought that I am good at languages.  I pick up words easily and grammar fits into to my head without too much pain.  But somehow there is a gap between playing with a language and using it for real, which I find incredibly daunting.

The opposite of success is not failure; the opposite of success is not trying. So here's to all of us starting to learn a new language this autumn and to success in all its different forms.

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Silence is golden

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Edited by Julie Johnson, Monday, 7 Jul 2014, 21:33

Anyone learning a new language will find they have strengths and weaknesses.  For me speaking is the challenge.  Armed with a good dictionary I can make out the content of books and newspapers.  My spelling and grammar are passable, so I can communicate in writing if I need to.  But faced with a conversation in French I am frightened of opening my mouth.  My fear is that my well-rehearsed words will not be understood.  What is even worse however, is when my words make sense but I receive a reply that I am not expecting and I can’t decipher the torrent of French fired at me.

My other half has a horror of grammar, but will happily engage with market stall holders and staff in shops.  As far as I can see he gains his French by observation and experience, and mistakes don’t seem to cause him the stress that I feel when speaking.  His pronunciation seems to be fairly accurate as he is rarely misunderstood when he orders our coffee and Perrier citron in bars.  We’ve even learnt to ask for une tranche of lemon which can also be une rondelle, rather than the lemon sirop.

Only once, has this simple request gone completely wrong.  He asked for one coffee and two Perrier citron, as usual.  The barman seemed puzzled and queried the order, which we confirmed.  Out came one coffee, not accompanied by two bottles of Perrier and two glasses with a slice of lemon as expected.  Instead the barman presented us with a large box, went away and then came back with cups, saucers and a pot of hot water.  Inside the box was a selection of fine teas.  The barman’s confused look became clear, why would you order one coffee and two teas for two people?

But this shows me that my fears are misplaced.  On my visits to France this year, I am trying to actively listen and to take opportunities to speak.  I will be reporting my successes and failures in this blog to encourage myself as I move from stammering nervous requests to confident and fluent conversations.  Goodbye golden silence and hello silver speech.

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