I just hate it when people say I can’t take criticism.
Personal Blogs
Q. What would you call a hybrid between a Wolverine and a Tasmanian Devil?
A. A cross breed.
Q. Why did the chicken turn over the flashcard?
Red roses
Your thorns are so sharp.
Are you feasting on my blood?
See you around
A gang of wheat rustlers were caught on camera. Although the images were very grainy.
“I say, I say, I say. I’ve set up a company offering pleasure flights.”
“How's business?”
“Up and down.”
I was very interested to read this article
Hamilton was one of the earliest software engineers and her software played a crucial part in the Apollo moon missions. It is a fascinating story.
My latest artwork is constructed entirely from root vegetables. It’s been nominated for the Turnip prize.
Long ago I knew someone who had been a seamstress at the court of Queen Victoria. So I knew someone who knew someone born in 1819. Isn’t that amazing?
Q. I like this girl, but she doesn’t like me back. What should I do?
A. Suggest get new back.
This familiar flower of waysides and disturbed ground is Common Mallow. The Mallow family includes many familiar garden plants, such as Hollyhocks, Lavatera, and Hibiscus.
The flower is always the key to recognising what family a flowering plant belongs to, and if you know these plants you may be able to see the resemblance to Mallow.
Also in the family is Marshmallow, a plant whose roots were historically made into a confection. Modern marshmallows are only connected by the name.
Surprisingly this plant family also features cotton and cacao = chocolate, and is thus of huge ecomonic importance.
'Mallow' is from Latin Malva and I think the plant has a similar name in most European languages. Modern Greek seems to be Μολόχα, Molócha, and some scholars have suggested the altered form could have been influenced by the Ancient Greek for 'soft'. Did this link to the marshmallow, a soft root, or even to cotton, already known in ancient times, as I understand it?
I bought a kipper in a bag and the label said, "Caught in the wild".
But I didn't know there were any kippers in the wild. Is this just a red herring?
The Pupils ask many times, “How can we be brave?”
The Abbess always replies three-wisely
“Accept doubt. Face infinitude. Embrace eternity.”
Q. What do you call an ant that stays awake all night?
A. Vigilant.
I didn't like working in origami. Too much paperwork.
Noah: What's that prickly stuff?
Dove: It's a holly branch. Isn't that what you asked for?
Have you heard any origami jokes? They really crease you up.
Here at NPHQ we are already readying oureleves for Xmas 2019 and preparing a BIG stock of mottoes to be distributed to cracker factories world-wide. One of our talented employees has come up with this one (motto, not factory).
Q. How do you encourage a carpenter?
A. You say "Keep up the wood work!".
Really I wanted to be a lumberjack when I was young. But I just couldn't hack it.
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