You can't touch the stars (I can't)
You can't fly (I can't)
You can't use an umbrella as a parachute (I can't)
But
don't
be
afraid
of
heights
You can rest on the wing of courage.
Personal Blogs
New blog post
Wednesday, 4 Jul 2018, 23:02
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Wrong again
Wednesday, 4 Jul 2018, 00:26
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I'm in this seminar, right, and the tutor asks me about the Trojans.
I'm like, I'm taking History, not "Fashion and Dress", how'm I supposed to know what the Trojans wore?
Apparently I'd misunderstood.
On The Beach
Tuesday, 3 Jul 2018, 23:54
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I've heard even Death
Is using AI now
He's a dirty gamer.
Touched
Monday, 2 Jul 2018, 23:29
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When the eagle flew over
Its shadow fell on my shoulder
I felt so proud.
The Rise and Fall of the Worm
Monday, 2 Jul 2018, 20:22
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Edited by Richard Walker, Monday, 2 Jul 2018, 20:51
According to the Oxford English Dictionary worm is from the same root as Latin vermis worm, and also related to Ancient Greek word ῥόμος wood-worm (the Greeks tended to drop their 'w's, and presumably at an earlier time the word would have been spelt with a digamma, ϝῥόμος 'wromos'). So worms were lowly.
But by the time we get to Old English and Old
Norse the word has come to mean (or at it least include) 'dragon'. The OE was wyrm,
that's how the dragon Beowulf fights is described.
Old Norse speakers also tended to drop their
'w's, for example OE Woden is the same as ON Odin. So the dragon Fafnir,
slain by Sigurd, is an ormr.
Both these dragons guarded their hoards of treasure. It is the theft of a cup from his cache that awakens the Beowulf dragon, after three hundred years of peace. It wants to catch the thief. I always find the image of the dragon sniffing after him rather chilling.
Þá se wyrm onwóc wróht wæs geníwad
stonc ðá æfter stáne
Then the dragon awoke wrath was rekindled
It sniffed along the stone
Nowadays the word worm has reverted to something more like its original meaning. The glory days are past: worms cannot fly, spit poison, or breathe fire, and they don't guard hoards of treasure. That kind of worm has gone extinct.
Ruthless Rhyme
Sunday, 1 Jul 2018, 01:29
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When Father saw the Twins fall o'er the cliff,
He had his phone out in a jiff.
Saying, as he filmed their downward spiral,
“Let's see how quickly this goes viral.”
Aspiring
Sunday, 1 Jul 2018, 00:16
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My goal is to be as ambitious as possible.
"That Silly Old Man on a Bus"
Saturday, 30 Jun 2018, 23:50
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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday, 1 Jul 2018, 00:16
There was an old man on a bus,
Who said, "Huh! Well I don't give a cuss",
And I don't care a poo,
What the hell they all do."
That silly old man in a bus.
My Pet Theories
Saturday, 30 Jun 2018, 21:52
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Every night when I get home
I let my pet theories out of their cages.
How they rejoice and romp
How they scurry round the room
Some rebound from the walls
Some skip, some hop, some limp
Many roll over so I can tickle their tummies
Or arch their backs for a good stroke.
In a few cases they give me a playful scratch
Or a loving nibble, which hardly hurts.
They have been such loyal friends
All these years. Dear theories!
Debacle
Friday, 29 Jun 2018, 02:06
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The management were told, but took no heed.
For they knew best, and knew there was no need.
And when it all went wrong, and brought us down.
The most they managed was a puzzled frown.
New blog post
Thursday, 28 Jun 2018, 03:16
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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 28 Jun 2018, 03:38
i lost you
in the mist
can you hear me calling
Haiku
Thursday, 28 Jun 2018, 01:04
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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 28 Jun 2018, 03:28
On a morning the thrush calls
Wake up! He just guesses
My plans for the day.
Supply Shortage
Thursday, 28 Jun 2018, 00:14
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I thought of getting into celebrity cooking.
But then I thought, nah.
What if I can't get the celebrities to cook?
The Mosquito and the Tasty Bite
Wednesday, 27 Jun 2018, 22:48
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Why is a mosquito like a canapé?
A Greek mosquito is a kounoupi. In Ancient Greek the word was konops = mosquito and from it came konopeion, a net that those who could afford it (think Persian kings, Alexander and other potentates) had cast over their sleeping couches. A mosquito net, you see; a canopy.
In time the word became applied to the couch itself, and eventually it became French for a superior kind of sofa. The word is still used in that sense, and if you want, you can buy a canapé sofa.
And then it got applied to an elegant snack, made of a small piece of bread or similar, with a delicate morsel on top, metaphorically like a person sitting on a sofa. So the word for mosquito has come to mean a tasty bite.
Phew!
Wednesday, 27 Jun 2018, 02:02
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I've invented a new system for measuring the strength of blue cheese. It's called the Roquefort scale.
Why did the Galus galus domesticus cross the road?
Wednesday, 27 Jun 2018, 01:08
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The dictionary was on the other side.
Ornithology
Wednesday, 27 Jun 2018, 00:52
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Why did the birdwatcher cross the road?
To get to the other hide!
Literally Metaphorical
Tuesday, 26 Jun 2018, 22:42
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Recently, I've noticed
confusion, in certain sections of the press, over common metaphors involving
"stab" or "shot" and "back" or "dark". Guesswork and treachery are some of the metaphors, but things can soon get hard to follow. Here is my attempt to clear
things up with some definitions.
Shot in the back -- metaphorically: bad, act of coward (unless delivered by health care professional to relieve pain in back (good))
Shot in the arm -- metaphorically: something that perks you up; or act of health care professional; both good (or literally: suffered gunshot wound to arm (bad)).
Shot in the dark -- metaphorically: a wild stab, anybody's guess (or literally: shot in darkness (bad))
Wild stab - metaphorically: a guess, a shot in the dark, anybody's guess (or literally: stab inflicted by someone not aiming, or one whose aim is impaired by anger or other causes.)
Stab
in the dark -- metaphorically: the same as shot in the dark (or literally: stab in
darkness, or by someone guessing the target in a dark enviroment)
Stab
in the back -- metaphorically: treachery, act of traitor; bad (possibly in darkness, but not
always. Literally: stab in back; may require a shot in the back to
relieve pain (good)).
From Our Cheese Q & A
Tuesday, 26 Jun 2018, 20:25
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Q. What kinds of cheese can help you keep cool in hot weather?
A. We recommend Bries.
Rare Cheese Song
Sunday, 24 Jun 2018, 21:45
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For cheese a jolly good Feta, for cheese a jolly good Feta!
For cheese a jolly good Feta, which is better cubed than sliced
Which is better cubed than sliced, which is better cubed than sliced
For cheese a jolly good Feta, for cheese a jolly good Feta
For cheese a jolly good Feta, which is better cubed than sliced
Which is better cubed than sliced, which is better cubed than sliced
For cheese a jolly good Feta, for cheese a jolly good Feta
For cheese a jolly good Fe-e-ta; which is better cubed than sliced!
Homage To Ogden Nash
Saturday, 23 Jun 2018, 22:14
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There's many swear 'sloth' rhymes with 'oath'
And others vote for 'moth'
But for myself I'd go for both,
Or do I mean 'for both'?
Grow Your Own
Saturday, 23 Jun 2018, 21:18
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The allotment went well at first. But then I lost the plot.
Sky Haiku
Friday, 22 Jun 2018, 23:17
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It's only me worries
Why the sky is so blue.
The lark doesn’t care.
Gran's Wisdom One Liner
Thursday, 21 Jun 2018, 20:42
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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 21 Jun 2018, 20:43
Today I snapped my tape measure.
I was quite annoyed, but then I remembered Gran saying: "Rules are just made to be broken."
Proverb
Thursday, 21 Jun 2018, 01:28
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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 21 Jun 2018, 01:50
Last weekend next door had a big do; marquee, live band and so on. As midnight approached the music was still very loud, so I went round and asked the band if they could turn it down a bit.
They immediately agreed, and when I got home it was noticeably quieter, although not as peaceful as I might have wished. But I left things at that, remembering Gran's wise saying: “Never fight the band that heeds you.”
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