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Richard Walker

Tom's Pets

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Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 9 May 2018, 01:46

After the neighbours' unfavourable comments on his insect pets, Tom felt even more need to keep his distance.

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Richard Walker

Tom Swifty at the Fair

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"I won these coconuts for you", Tom said shyly.

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Richard Walker

Tom Swifty

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"Many great artists have lived in a garret", said Tom loftily.

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Richard Walker

Shop Early For Christmas

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Edited by Richard Walker, Monday, 7 May 2018, 22:21

Thsi year we've been asking our Elf Team to step out of their traditional work writing mottoes for crackers and innovate. We invited them to come up with new ideas for gifts to give your friends next Yuletide.

For example, one Elf has drawn inspiration from combining two iconic songs of the last century, "With My Little Ukulele in My Hand" by George Formby, and "With Me Shillelagh Under My Arm", by Jack Daly.

The result is a unique must-have present, the Shillelagh-Lele, as depicted below.


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Richard Walker

A Vision

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Richard Walker

Christmas Cracker Motto

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Q. Why are Icelandic Sagas so boring?

A. Because they are just a lot of "Old Snores"!


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Richard Walker

Washday

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When we were very young we knew, without being told, that Monday was 'washing day', and in fact many people where I lived did do their washing on Monday. But did they have the wrong day?

In Old English the names for the days of the week were

Sunnandæg
Mōnandæg
Tīwesdæg
Wōdnesdæg
Þunresdæg
Frīgedæg
Sæternesdæg

As you see these are Sun, Moon; then four Teutonic gods; then Saturn, and are esentially the same names as today. (But I think the OE versions are more interesting to look at!)

Romans named day after planets (or at least celestial objects) and planets after deities, and other European peoples imitated this high-status idea but sometimes in translation. So we got Tiw, Woden, Thunnor, Friga in place of Mars, Mercury, Jupiter, Venus. Saturn stayed where he was, and then we have the Sun and the Moon.

I've been looking at Old Norse day though, and In Old Norse there was an alternative name for Saturday: laugardag. This has survived into moderin Icelandic, Norwegian, Swedish and Danish.

It apparently means something like 'pool-day', or 'wash day'. It's probably connected to 'laundry' and 'lavatory' via Latin and French repectively; to 'lye' a kind of soap; and to the name of the Greek resort "Loutraki" (=little bath).

So what was going on? Did Vikings wash more than other medieval Europeans and it's been forgotten? Did they wash their clothes weekly but in the later Middle Ages this was no longer the case? Did Romans wash every Saturn's day but only the north Germanic peoples rembembered there had been such a tradition? Did Old Norse people like to take a cold bath once a week, or visit a woodland spring where minor water deities resided?

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Richard Walker

Lover's Test

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Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 2 May 2018, 23:54

Unless you track me in the snow

You never shall my feelings know

And you must track me in the sand

If you want to hold my hand

And you must follow in my wake

Follow for your feeling's sake

And you must follow me through fire

Follow follow me through fire

And you must trace me in the sky

And there we'll meet, and meeting die.



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Richard Walker

Xmas Cracker Motto (the Elves prepare)

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Q. Why is a hot burning passion like a field of campers?

A. Because it's in tents!

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Richard Walker

The Language of Flowers - Some Examples

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Bugloss: brass instruments

Calendula: slurred calendar

Comfrey: loosen

Freesia: ice bath

Iris: opp. of low risk

Lupin: flying in circles

Marigold: make wealthy connection

Orchid: youthful rower

Primula: uptight monarch

Statice: social class


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Richard Walker

Impulse

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Getting the alligator was a bit of a snap decision.

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Richard Walker

Cake Off

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Richard Walker

Night Trains

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It was the loneliest

    sound in the world

When we

    heard the trains passing.

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Richard Walker

~ Cowboys ~

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Richard Walker

Crossing patrol

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Richard Walker

Tom Swifty

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"Using this adhesive is child's play!". Tom was being simplistic.

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Richard Walker

One liner

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Garden ornament theft. It's a gnome problem.
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Richard Walker

On Trees (After Ogden Nash)

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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday, 22 Apr 2018, 21:33

Some people opine,

The Giant Redwood is superior to the Dwarf pine.

But if you ask me,

This is simply a case of bigotry.

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Richard Walker

Off The Cuff Joke

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I was down the Local tonight, and somehow we got talking about time. You know; when did we arrive, what time dinner is, and so on. We started glancing at our watches. "Hair past freckle' was mentioned by someone.

A stranger in the corner suddenly piped up. "I've been commission by the Beeb to make a new fly-on-the wall TV programme. It's going to be called "'Watch watch' watch".



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Richard Walker

Hanging-on Haiku

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"Well Old Man

Do you think this is your last Spring?"

"Not if I have anything to do with it!"

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Richard Walker

A Lover's Final Sign Off

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Yaws forever

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Richard Walker

Dragon

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I think death's breath

Is hot not

cold

as has

been foretold.

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Richard Walker

My Diet

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If you're really serious about regaining a youthful figure, cut back on how much you eat. 

Remember the old saying, “Limitation is the sincerest form of flatter me.”


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Richard Walker

Sea Trip

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Richard Walker

What do you call this woman?

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Courtney!

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