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Q. What do call a lizard that gets up on stage and changes colour?
A. A stand-up chameleon!
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Personal Blogs
From an Xmas Cracker
Thursday, 29 Mar 2018, 23:21
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Playground Humour
Thursday, 29 Mar 2018, 01:02
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Q. What do you call a cross between Count Dracula and an antelope?
A. Vlad the impala!
One Liner
Wednesday, 28 Mar 2018, 23:20
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It's no joke being a comedian.
A Poem after Poe
Sunday, 25 Mar 2018, 23:09
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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday, 25 Mar 2018, 23:10
Once upon a morning gloomy, while I lay there, sad and doomy,
Over many an odd article published in the press the day before—
While I was blinking, scarcely thinking, suddenly there came a clanging,
As of a postman on my doorbell hanging, on my knocker banging, banging.
"Tis Amazon delivery", I said, "I hope they'll put it in the shed".
But sadly it was left next door.
Over many an odd article published in the press the day before—
While I was blinking, scarcely thinking, suddenly there came a clanging,
As of a postman on my doorbell hanging, on my knocker banging, banging.
"Tis Amazon delivery", I said, "I hope they'll put it in the shed".
But sadly it was left next door.
Meal Times ???
Sunday, 25 Mar 2018, 21:47
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Edited by Richard Walker, Sunday, 25 Mar 2018, 21:58
I suppose that ancestrally we only ate if we could: and what, and where, and when we could.
So are regular mealtimes ('Breakfast is the most important meal of the day') essential to health? It doesn't work for me.
"Just askin'," as William said.
All comments welcome!
So are regular mealtimes ('Breakfast is the most important meal of the day') essential to health? It doesn't work for me.
"Just askin'," as William said.
All comments welcome!
New blog post
Saturday, 24 Mar 2018, 23:04
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Does anyone know
Why rooks and crows just go 'Caw'.
When according to Edgar Allen Poe
The raven quoth 'Nevermore'.
Tom Swifty
Saturday, 24 Mar 2018, 21:29
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"Whatever you may think, being an undertaker is a noble profession", said Tom stiffly.
What Do You Call a Woman with Such Lovely Headgear...
Thursday, 22 Mar 2018, 20:27
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Erin!
Nonsense Verse
Tuesday, 20 Mar 2018, 21:49
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There were two birds sat on a twig.
One was small, the other big.
One was thin, the other fat.
And there they sat, and sat, and sat.
Last Night...
Monday, 19 Mar 2018, 21:48
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Last night I visited a skewniverse
Where all the snowflakes have seven sides.
Who could ask for anything less?
Spring Umbrella Haiku
Monday, 19 Mar 2018, 00:45
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It was Spring so my umbrella
flapping up
Kept on and down again
Little Willie
Sunday, 18 Mar 2018, 23:16
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When Little Willie knew his parents slept,
Into their cosy room he crept,
And placed electrodes on their toes.
All in the cause of Science; I suppose.
Playground Joke
Sunday, 18 Mar 2018, 22:16
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Q. What's the difference between a feather duvet and a wombat?
A. One is down over and the other is down under.
Old Man's Thought
Sunday, 18 Mar 2018, 22:04
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Today
Shaking the snow from my head
Who noticed?
Shaking the snow from my head
Who noticed?
What's the difference?
Friday, 16 Mar 2018, 01:46
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What's the difference between government economic policy and a grassy meadow?
The first is definitely austerity but the second is definitely horse territory.
Ironic Pigs Joke
Friday, 16 Mar 2018, 00:58
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Q. Why are ironic pigs like an Asian alcoholic drink?
A. Because they are wry swine.
Playground Joke
Thursday, 15 Mar 2018, 22:22
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Q. Why did the Oyster feel run down?
A. Because of low shell fish steam!
~ An Auctioneer's Last Words ~
Wednesday, 14 Mar 2018, 01:56
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Going, going,...
What Do You Call...
Tuesday, 13 Mar 2018, 21:26
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Edited by Richard Walker, Tuesday, 13 Mar 2018, 21:27
Hugh!
Surprise Haiku
Tuesday, 13 Mar 2018, 21:19
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Late last night a knock
With beating heart, I opened the door.
New Dictionary
Monday, 12 Mar 2018, 01:04
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I'm compiling a new dictionary, of well known phrases brought up to date.
For example
Many are bold, but few are brazen.
More to come.
Playground Joke
Monday, 12 Mar 2018, 00:59
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Q. What works when it's on strike?
A. A match!
.
A Puzzle - Catch the Cat
Saturday, 10 Mar 2018, 22:25
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This charming puzzle is new to me. Although it appears on quite a few websites, I only stumbled on it a couple of days back.
Cats like boxes, as we know. In the puzzle a rather naughty cat is hiding in one of five boxes, arranged in a row.
The cat challenges you to find it! The rules are:
- each day you may look in just one box
- each night the cat must move from its current box to an adjacent one.
So from box 1 the cat must go right; from box 5 left; and from other boxes it can go right or left.
The question is: can you catch this mischevious cat, however hard it tries to elude you? If so: how?
I don't know who first thought of this puzzle but there are lots of references in this article.
Thrush Haiku
Saturday, 10 Mar 2018, 01:53
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Bless me, there's my thrush
Telling me the same old story
Spring's coming soon. Don't worry.
18c couplet
Friday, 9 Mar 2018, 21:40
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From a tombstone
It takes a Poet to pen a Poem.
By his Verses, you shall know him.
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