Personal Blogs

An anti joke is a kind a joke that's funny because it's not.

For example, in Germany they have Antiwitze. Here's ein Antiwitz.

Zwei Männer gehen über eine Brücke. Der eine fällt ins Wasser, der andere heißt Helmut.

Get the idea? They begin as a plausible mini-narrative but then suddently veer off on a wild and inconsequental trajectory.

Here's one I read years ago (I don't any longer know its source).

(Ed. I hope the doctor had an antidote available.)

Can you identify these Anglo-Saxon = Old English bird names?

hroc

crawe

hrefin

These are supposed to be imitative of the bird call, and they sound that way. But there's some confusion; rooks don't go hroc.

hraga is said to be a heron, but that doesn't seem/sound right. I don't know what a heron sounds like, but I can recognise a crake.

On the seacoast you might hear a mœw, in your Anglo-Saxon garden the short sharp call of a finc, and in your farmyard the call of a cocc.

Host at Fancy Dress Party, to Guest: That's an unusual costume. What are you dressed as?

Guest: A Monocle.

Host: Well, you're making a spectacle of yourself.

All the kids loved the Reindeer. Except Pete.

He didn't eat meat.

We used to have a parrot who said stupid things in a whole range of languages. We named him "Pollyclot".

Q. What comes between ethics and suffix?

A, Kent.

Mortar follow.

I've set up this really quiet space. If you want to visit, do drop pin.

I saw this ad, "People wanted to act as cardboard sillhouettes". But at the interview they said I wasn't cut out for the job.

One mouse must never betray another mouse. That's the mouse code.

In recent months, a number of people have been badly scalded by hot yolk when their breakfasts exploded. A prominent politician said yesterday that “People have had enough of egg spurts”.