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"What an absolutely gorgeous little stream or whatever", Tom babbled.

"What a wonderful sight but it's hard to talk over the sound of falling water", Tom roared.

"This clear pure spring looks like the fountain of youth", Tom gushed.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, you see before one of Nature's Wonders, a Geyser", Tom spouted.

And presumably every kitten/smitten.

But is not keen/to intervene.

Ladies and Gentlemen, welcome please!

The Mosses: Mr. and Mrs. Moss, and their celebrity daughter. She's Fay Moss.

Hello angel. I was expecting something grander

I confess. Big strong wings of godly grace.

A heavenly being, assigned to my case.

Not such a shrill whine. That starts again.

When I extinguish the light. But I guess

You're just a messenger, doing your best.

And the clean up team of millions will come by in no time.

So that's it then. And honestly I'm not disappointed.

We atheists can't complain.

Apparently it's true

The wombat's poo

Is a regular hexahedron.

Making it the one

And only animal that

Has cubical skat.

An expression which avoids

Mentioning cuboids.

In homage to Ogden Nash (1902 – May 19, 1971)

All the kids liked being tested with vegetarian food. Except Trig.

He said he felt like a guinea pig.

So he ate one.

*

Perhaps you've not heard of the Elsinore Sewing Club.

It was Denmark 1943. Although the country was under Nazi occupation, Denmark's 8,000 strong Jewish population had yet come under attack.

However orders arrived for deportation. I don't think the full implications were widely understood but they were evidently seen as ominous.

People from all walks of Danish society joined in a rescue mission. Jews were warned to go into immediate hiding. Volunteers even worked painstakingly through telephone directories for names that looked Jewish to warn the people concerned.

The "Sewing Club" was a code-named resistance group. Elsinore in Denmark is only about 3 km across the sea from Sweden - Hamlet would have been able to see Sweden from the castle walls.

In small boats, the Sewing Club carried over 90% of the Jewish community of Denmark to safety on the Swedish shore.

In the spirit of "What noise annoys an oyster?" and "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck?" here is my own modest offering.

As an aside, if I decided to make a single of "Oh I do like to be beside the sea side", what would the B-side of "I do like to be beside the sea side" be?

Alexander Fleming

Called his mother a lemming.

In spite of this villainy

His career was very penicilliny.

The leaves whisper quietly

Its

Autumn

Soon

Dat Lucrezia Borgia. What an awful poison.