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Richard Walker

Happiness in Your Backyard

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Until some months ago I thought measuring happiness was a crazy idea. 

By chance I read this article and saw I'd been wrong. Dead wrong.






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Richard Walker

Fruits of the Forest

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Or not exactly that. But thinking about wild blackberries reminded me of other wild fruits.

Round here we really have only the blackberries, and sloes. Sloes are delicious as the fruit that goes into the gin-based liqueur named for them, but if you eat one plucked from the hedgerow your mouth and eyes screw up instantly. All the same I believe the sloe is part-ancestor of some cultivated plums.

Further afield, or perhaps a-wood is more accurate, I have eaten wild strawberries and raspberries in many places. I've also consumed many crab apples; usually jellified, but also crisp, sharp and raw, fresh from the tree.

Crab apples vary a lot, and may often I think have some cultivated genes in them, either crossed from regular apples, or perhaps from crab apple cultivars grown for jelly making.

All these fruits are probably members of the rose family, and rose bushes produce their own fruit - rosehips. These are supposed to be a good source of Vitamin C. If you are about the same age as me you may remember Delrosa Syrup.

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Richard Walker

Grouch Grass

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Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 17 Aug 2016, 21:27

We've all heard of whispering grass. But I have complaining grass.

If I cut it, all I hear is new moan hay.

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Richard Walker

The Giant

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Once a giant
Carried me over a gorge.
Enlightenment is different
You must make your own way there.
But test each step
Along the path.
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Richard Walker

Twilight

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Edited by Richard Walker, Monday, 15 Aug 2016, 22:21
The dear dead voices are most clear
At twilight: when we hear

Birds and people: calling one another.




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Richard Walker

Plus Ça Change

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First there was a proposal to remove the "Disagree" button.

"Agree" won the vote, so "Disagree" was removed.

Then there was a proposal to reinstate the "Disagree" button.

No-one disagreed, so it was reinstated.


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Richard Walker

Statisticians Fight Back

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Edited by Richard Walker, Saturday, 13 Aug 2016, 23:12

"There are liars, damn liars, and politicians."

(No offence, but they were rude about us first. And who is the more accurate?)




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Richard Walker

Salad Daze

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Q. How do you get a baby leaf salad off to sleep?

A. Rocket.

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Richard Walker

Plain English

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Edited by Richard Walker, Saturday, 13 Aug 2016, 20:13

In a recent buzz with some flies I know

I utilised the word "longevity"

They never came back

Of course the word

Was too long

For them

Or me

Life

.


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Richard Walker

Late Summer Geese

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Edited by Richard Walker, Friday, 12 Aug 2016, 21:34

Geese Iheardyoutell

Each other where you're going tonight.

Please take me too.

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Richard Walker

Singing Mice

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 11 Aug 2016, 18:23
This is a recording of mice singing. I wanted to check if it is still possible to embed sound in these posts, so I chose this sample, which reminds me of the Clangers! The mice are really much higher in pitch and the frequency has been lowered so humans can hear it, similarly to how bat detectors work.

Download this audio clip.Audio player: audioS1.mp3

Source http://www.nature.com/news/2005/051031/multimedia/audioS1.mp3 (needs Quicktime)

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Richard Walker

Blackberries and Poetry

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I love eating wild blackberries during my walks at this time of year. Sampling one or two tart berries from every bush along the way, it always seems to me that each produces fruit unlike any other, any place else: as (they say) small vineyards produce distinctively different wines because of their soil and situation.

But professional tasters (if any exist) of local blackberries have to work on a much more delicate scale than wine tasters. One meter is a long way in blackberry space.

A poem Blackberry Picking by Seamus Heaney starts

Late August, given heavy rain and sun
For a full week, the blackberries would ripen.
At first, just one, a glossy purple clot
Among others, red, green, hard as a knot.
You ate that first one and its flesh was sweet
Like thickened wine: summer's blood was in it.

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Richard Walker

Summer Grasses - Basho Haiku

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Edited by Richard Walker, Tuesday, 9 Aug 2016, 12:35

I tried to capture a famous Haiku in my own words

Summer grass

All that's become

Of warrior dreams.

Basho 1644-1694

Then I tried to rewrite it in Anglo-Saxon form, because that is another style of poetry I admire greatly.

Between the pebbles and the bone-washing beach.
All along the strand where valorous warriors gave their lives.
The traveller hears nothing now save the sea.
Only the grass whispers the stories of the brave.







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Richard Walker

Why not?

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And why not

               \

                  \

                     !

                        Sack me

                                      Then

                                                    I'll

                                                    Havemore

Time to figure out

Poetry

Yours not

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Richard Walker

Silver Spoon

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I've just bought a silver spoon. I plan to die with it in my mouth.

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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They say all the nice girls love a sailor. But the nauticals do too.

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Richard Walker

Spicy Daffinitions

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mace = place to get lost.

galangal = female perspective.

cumin = traditional Yorkshire doorstep welcome.

cloves = 's whatcha wear, innit?

cinnamon = can run but can't hide, all on that day.

cayenne = 1 nautical mile per hour.

caraway = overdid it, as in "Shorry, I got caraway".

bay leaf = court official.

anise = place to get gun.
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Richard Walker

One Liner

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"Newfangled".   There's an old-fashioned expression.

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Richard Walker

Cracker Motto

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Although fewer than 141 days remain to Xmas, most of the Elves are still on their hols.

However a young apprentice has recently joined and shows good promise. Here is her first joke. Please applaud a star in the making.

Q:  If lions had feathers, why would that be restful?

A:  Because it would be lion down.





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Richard Walker

One Liner

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 4 Aug 2016, 23:13

I once had a postman named Alfred, who was really aggressive and testosterone-driven

He had this T-shirt made that said "Al for mail".

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Richard Walker

Angel

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 4 Aug 2016, 23:00

What kept you, Angel?

Angels I hear lot about.

But you may be the last I run up against.


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Richard Walker

Epitaph for an Insomniac Film Buff

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 4 Aug 2016, 22:37

The Big Sleep

Is The Best.


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Richard Walker

Snail Winter Haiku

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Snail

In winter, will you wrap up like me?

What answer did I expect?





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Richard Walker

Tom Swifty Misquote #1

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Edited by Richard Walker, Tuesday, 2 Aug 2016, 23:23

"Alas poor Yorick, I knew him well", said Tom gravely.

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Richard Walker

Clerihew

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Diogenes

Had scabs all over his knees.

Some were clinical

That's what you get from living in a barrel and being cynical.

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