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Fifty Years On: Building a Life in Real Time

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A couple of pages from a teenager's arch-lever file Diary

This might be a project I regret committing to; there is no end to it. Death perhaps.

What began as a simple revisiting of old school diaries has evolved into a vast, long-term autobiographical archive project spanning more than half a century of recorded life. I am currently working through a sequence of contemporaneous diaries, letters, dream journals, photographs, and notebooks, reconstructing and publishing them exactly fifty years after their original dates.

As of 9th June 2026, I have worked through approximately four months of entries from my surviving five-year diaries covering 1975–1978. In practice, this means revisiting around 330–450 individual diary days so far, usually processing the same calendar date across multiple years together. Each entry is expanded from compressed teenage shorthand into reflective first-person prose, enriched with contextual memory, emotional interpretation, historical detail and, increasingly, accompanying visual material. It is intriguing to read what I was doing on a particular day at ages 13.7, 14.7, 15.7 and 16.7. 

The archive itself expands dramatically beyond these early diaries. A second five-year diary covers 1979–1982, after which I moved into large A4 hardback notebooks written daily, eventually filling entire lever-arch folders with a single month's reflections. Alongside the diaries are dream journals, letters written home to parents and grandparents between the ages of seven and seventeen, and two substantial photojournals documenting school life, travel and family experience. Age 17.1, 18.1, 19.1, 20.1 becomes somewhat Henry Miller in topic and tone. 

The project is intended to unfold slowly in real time. A diary entry from June 1976 appears in June 2026; June 1977 will appear in June 2027, and so on. If sustained, the archive will continue publishing into the 2040s, eventually bridging handwritten childhood diaries, adult notebooks and the emergence of my online writing life in the late 1990s. I'll be in my early 80s if I get to the end. 

In general, I retain real place names because geography, schools, landscapes and social settings are central to the historical and autobiographical value of the archive. However, I routinely alter or fictionalise personal names, particularly where individuals are private citizens still living ordinary lives. In some cases, composite characters or pseudonyms are used.

I recognise that even altered names may not guarantee anonymity. Someone familiar with the events, relationships or social circles involved may eventually identify themselves or others through accumulated detail. 

For this reason, I try to avoid material whose publication could cause unnecessary embarrassment, distress, reputational harm or renewed personal conflict, even fifty years after the original events. I am especially cautious with photographs of handwritten pages, as modern image enhancement and OCR technologies can recover more text than may initially appear legible. I delete anything if asked; it happened once in the first attempt at this project, fifteen years ago. How someone I met in France as a teenager identified themselves indicates how universal the internet has become. 

My aim is not an exposé, revenge, or confession for its own sake, but the careful reconstruction of memory, atmosphere, social history, and personal development across time. Wherever possible, I seek to preserve the emotional truth of the archive while respecting the dignity and privacy of the people who unknowingly became part of it. In some instances, I will defend what I said or felt as a young person. That's life. 

Permalink 2 comments (latest comment by Jonathan Vernon, Tuesday 9 June 2026 at 19:28)
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Design Museum

Dreams. If you've just had one, try this.

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Edited by Jonathan Vernon, Saturday 18 April 2015 at 07:04

"Nights through dreams tell the myths forgotten by the day." — C.G. Jung (Memories, Dreams, Reflections)

1: Who are you in the dream?

2: Who are you with in the dream?

3: What details stand out?

4: What do you feel about these details?

5: What are the various actions in the dream?

6: How are you acting and behaving in this dream?

7: What relation does this dream have to your personality?

8: What does the dream want from you?

9: What are the various feelings in this dream?

10: What relation does this dream have to what is happening right now in your life?

11: Why did you need this dream?

12: Why have you had this dream right now?

13: What relation does this dream have to something in your future?

14: What questions arise because of this dream work?

15: Who or what is the adversary in the dream?

16: What is being wounded in this dream?

17: What is being healed in this dream?

18: What or who is the helping or healing force in this dream?

19: Who or what is your companion in this dream?

20: Who are your helpers and guides in life as well as in your dreams?

21: What symbols in this dream are important to you?

22: What actions might this dream be suggesting you consider?

23: What can happen if you work actively with this dream?

24: What is being accepted in this dream?

25: What choices can you make because of having this dream?

26: What questions does this dream ask of you?

27: Why are you not dealing with this situation?

28: What do you want to ask your dream spirits?

My older sister got me into this in the 1970s when I was in my early teens.

I would cite where it came from if I had the foggiest idea. Do help if you know as I think we all deserve to be recognised (and occasionally rewarded) for the words we write.

Extraordinary as the mind is, reading a few lines about a dream I had 35 years ago does bring it all back.

Actually I can recall a dream I had when I as about four, being strangled by Rolf Harris. I asked my mother recently if my father had a beard at the time, he didn't, though there were plenty of times he said 'I could strangle you.'

Bingo! Eureka!

That's it, I wanted him to be like Rolf Harris but he was rubbish at painting and wanted to kill me smile

So that's explained, 44 years on.

Nothing like giving it time ...

Permalink 2 comments (latest comment by Lucy Hollingworth, Thursday 20 January 2011 at 16:52)
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