You can find all my posts here: https://learn1.open.ac.uk/mod/oublog/view.php?u=zw219551
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Part three of the spirit world story has been uploaded as an attachment on an earlier post, 'Spirit and Alien Party - 6th July' Tagged - spirit party
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[ 4 minute read ].
Egregious Conflation
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Yesterday, I read an article about a WWII explosive device that had been dropped from a German aircraft over Plymouth. It was found in February this year, unexploded.
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The article outlined how roads were closed and there was an exclusion zone along a route from where it was found and the sea, where it was going to be blown up. There are two ways of looking at this:
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Keep clear! You could get hurt if this goes wrong!
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Don’t look! We have found something that you are not going to like if you see it, in any case it really stinks!
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So, if we believe that it really was an unexploded device dropped from a German plane during World War Two we have to wonder, on what kind of vessel will they put this dangerous potentially deadly and hugely destructive hazard? Supposedly, to blow it up at sea it needs to be gently placed on a ship and then lowered over the side with a timer and a charge glued to it to make it explode underwater.
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Now, if I was in charge, I would have to say, ‘Let’s put it on a rowing boat and have the local salty old sea-dog, in his fisherman’s cable-knit jumper, row it out a bit.’ The alternative is to put it on an expensive ship (much more stable on a February sea). This ship needs to be large enough to have lifting equipment that can very safely move 500kg, the weight of the device. In this second scenario, the ghosts of Germany past would be rubbing their hands with glee and shouting, ‘Good hit! Much better than that stupid house where it originally landed. We were aiming for the dock all along!’ All they would need for a celebration would be for it to go off and the ship to sink.
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Personally, I don’t like the past catching up with the present too much, so it would definitely be best to use the rowing boat.
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‘Whoa! That was a big wave! HOLD ON TO IT!’
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‘Maybe we should have brought some string!’
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‘Keep rowing, Paul’
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‘How are we going to get off this boat? Everyone on the shore is running away.’
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Alternatively, if the road closures in Plymouth were to prevent anyone peering too closely at something the army was trying to hide, we would have to decide what it might actually be. I, rather think it might have been an alien that had eventually died in its armchair and the neighbours had finally had enough and called the police. Now, I do know that old people smell bad sometimes. I am not old and I already stink. When nature takes over a body that can no longer defend itself it is not the bacteria that makes the stink, it is its excrement; which is fatally toxic. So, it IS the bacteria that makes the stink, really.
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Anyway, gas masks and breathing apparatus appropriately donned, the Army might have decided to dispose of the alien shape at sea and so cleared the roads and made a exclusion zone to stop the locals asking too many questions. The problem here, though is will they put it on the rowing boat with Paul the local sea-dog in his cable-knit jumper, or permanently contaminate a perfectly good ship with a permeating stench?
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What they won’t be able to do is blow it up. We can’t have bits of stinky alien washing up on the shore or even being eaten by the local fish. (I shall have to ask the locals in Plymouth whether they were ‘discouraged’ from fishing for a while).
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Either, or... it is fun to speculate and make pseudo conspiracy theories. But realistically, it kind of segues into revealing an unfolding threat from foreign actors. The UK ‘government’ will send an alert text to every mobile phone in September this year to test an emergency alert procedure. Ostensibly, this is for flood warnings and weather warnings and the such-like. However, this new format operates across every network simultaneously across the whole of the UK. Taken alongside the advice that the EU is giving it’s citizens to prepare an emergency pack that should last seventy-two hours, I might be compelled to think that my nostalgic view of Paul, earnestly rowing a WWII destructive device out to sea, in his cable-knit jumper is very much a thing of the past.
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If you are an entrepreneur, you might think about stockpiling toilet rolls. Not again, surely!
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My mum used to tell me, when I was bored, 'If I have told you once, I have told you a thousand times. Put away your toys, go outside, and learn to live.’