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Cadwell NOT Caldwell
Bumbling Idiot against Engineered Idiot
[4 minute read ]
I think there are two approaches to getting things done. When I say getting things done, I mean successfully putting a significant point across such that other people are compelled to initiate some form of action to rectify a problem.
There is the 'drip-drip-drip' approach of quietly complaining and there is the outrageous 'in your face' approach.
I sometimes play a video game called Warzone 2100. It is a shoot-em-up game with the elimination of the other armies being the ultimate goal. If I approach a defence tower with a series of single shooting vehicles the defence tower can be repaired on an ongoing basis and all my army would be defeated. If the opposing army never conducts remedial activities eventually this drip-drip approach will prevail. It is however, extremely time and resource consuming. If I attack a defence tower with a massive force the tower is overwhelmed and because it has a set rate of fire the number of shots it is able to get off is limited by its rapid demise. A single vehicle might exchange one shot for one hit on itself, for example. However, if ten vehicles shoot then the exchange rate is ten to one. You get the point.
Cyclists grumbling at road-workers because the workers have blocked the cycle path with their bodies and who are asked to dismount and walk will inevitably get nowhere. Each of the workmen operate a self-repair system that hides behind a certain degree of arrogance and self-belief that extends into its defence form as, 'Cyclists are moaning idiots so I shall not implement any action to alleviate a problem only the cyclists perceive.' Individual grumbling cyclists are using a 'drip-drip' approach to getting things done.
Once again workmen are attempting to smooth out a specific section of a cycle path that lies alongside a dual carriageway motorway flyover, on my route into the city. The dual carriageway is perhaps 150 - 200 metres long and the workmen have closed one of the lanes along the whole length of it. Their vehicles were all clustered at one end above the motorway and a group of workmen were standing by the vehicles on the pavement / cycle path.
It is common for me to slowly cycle within the coned-off area of roadworks. Today, I did precisely that because I needed to travel contrawise to the traffic. Effectively, I was cycling the wrong way on a dual carriageway within a coned off area.
'You need to get off your bike and walk mate.' I was told by a lurking workman.
I cycled out of the coned area and cycled the wrong way on the dual carriageway.
'You're cycling the wrong way on a dual carriageway, you idiot!', came an angry shout from another worker; the one holding all the sheets of paper. Actually, he used a four letter word that starts and ends with 't'.
'You're the idiot!' I returned; I used the same word as he did, 'All these vehicles should be moved further along and you should be standing in the coned-off area where the vehicles currently are, you idiot!' I shouted as I continued. There was no approaching traffic. 'You need a project manager.' He was probably the project manager. He was probably upset because he had failed to make sure that the area that inevitably will be allocated for cyclists and pedestrians to use when the workers dig up the pavement / cycle path was not already in place, but didn't actually realise his mistake. He was probably upset because he had no control. He probably felt by my wild action that his authority was questioned. It most certainly was. He did not control the open lane of the carriageway and he was angry because I had thwarted the force of his control in his coned-off bailiwick. When a vehicle left the roundabout ahead and headed towards me I went back through the coned area and rejoined the path. No worries. There were no more workmen on the path ahead. Job done. Shouting at me had had no effect.
Many people might say that I acted irresponsibly by cycling the wrong way on a dual carriageway. It is a highways offence that is punishable by a hefty fine and a lot of points on your licence if you do it, even on a bicycle.
Here's the thing. The pavement / cycle path will be dug up at some point and pedestrians and cyclists will need to enter the coned off area. This state of affairs will likely be in place for many months despite the length of the works being no longer than 200 metres. The vehicles will not be parked in the way of redirected pedestrians and cyclists.
So, as a project manager the first thing to do is determine where the vehicles should be parked and make sure they are parked there. This is to create a safe path for pedestrians and cyclists. Then and only then block the cycle path with bodies while you explain the rest of the procedures that will be implemented. Alternatively, repurpose the other carriageway to make it two-way traffic and completely close the carriageway next to the intended works. It is less than 200 metres long and capped by a roundabout at each end, so it is no biggie if they do it outside of rush-hours. I just despair!
My cycling the wrong way on a dual carriageway is the outrageous approach to getting things done. It has a huge impact on the decision-making process that needs to be in place to combat the actions of the unruly and disobedient public.
My irresponsibility was engineered to make me an idiot because it takes too long to explain solutions and standing orders to bumbling leaders.