As today is the last day of autism awareness month I would like to share how life with autism is well to me anyway. I going to spilt this in to three bits: Emotions, danger and life.
Emotions: In general I have three emotions these are happy, sad and angry. I can't laugh (as in i make a face but no sound comes out) although i can mimic laughter each mimic of laughter is my gauge of how funny something is. To me there is no inbetween i am one of those three. When I was around year 5 to year 6 I got bored with just having these emotions, partly because i couldn't connect with anybody but also because I couldn't see from points of view only my own which is purely logical which caused issues beacuse i could take in more things then anyone in my class but my teachers couldn't really understand me although they could teach me. So I made what i called a 'Synthetic Emotion Chip' in this i put all the emotions i thought i should have like annoyed, excited and worried I think now i have around 15 'synthetic' emotions this doesn't always work but it better then not understanding someone i really want to help. An added bonus is i can turn of my 'emotion chip' when needed.
Danger: This one is an odd one where I overthink so i can see dangers before they happen. The example I use is if two cars, one going up a road the other down, are coming to a point where they meet. The three I see at least are what I call a safe vision, a mild vision and a extreme vision these look like.
A Safe- they pass it other keeping on their side of the road and no harm is done.
A Mild- They clip each other but all is well
A Extreme- The hit head on and bust in to flames anyone who was in the cars or near them is dead.
Also the other issues I have are not seeing cars or noticing any danger coming towards me so have learnt to bounce, I'm pretty sure I am made of putty.
Life: As I have said I overthink but my life is full of bits i can't filter like that but i see things like this pretty much every step. I don't cope well with lound noises, people, touching or lots of light. I swear i was meant to be a bat. I don't really have friends or what I will call friends. I think I have one or two but thats it. I can see things from other people's point of view but its hard to unstand my own. I tic pretty much constantly whenever i have an emotional reaction which isnt good especially when you don't want to look like a panda. It may sound like hard work or hell to me this is life I've learnt how to control certain bits like the twiching... to a point.
So Please be Autistic aware Some people may have issues worse then me or better but all we want is to be treated with respected and not looked at like we are odd.