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Richard Walker

It's the way they tell it

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Inversion: as told down the pub.

Conversion: scam.

Perversion: according to the cat.

Animadversion : as told by Annie when cross.

Eversion: as told in Yorkshire.

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Richard Walker

The World Upside Down

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If all the world were upside down

And we wore not a stitch

Into the sky our hats would fly

To make the hatters rich.

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Richard Walker

Clerihew

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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 25 May 2017, 20:22

Diogenes lived in a barrel

And wore very little apparel.

His idea of fun

Was telling Alexander to stand out of the sun.

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Richard Walker

More Conflict Resolved

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My teeth started quarrelling. Of course, I told them to stop falling out.

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Richard Walker

Conflict Resolution

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My clothes started quarrelling. Of course, I told them to iron out their differences.

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Richard Walker

Red Rainbow

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A couple of days ago I glimpsed my first red rainbow.

If the setting sun creates a rainbow, it's likely that the sun's rays will be red, because the blue part of the spectrum will have been scattered by the atmosphere. So we see a red rainbow. It's quite rare because there has to be rain falling in the eastern sky more or less at the moment of sunset in the west.

It was only little bit of the full rainbow but in my photo, taken looking east, you can get an idea of this rare and beautiful sight.


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Richard Walker

Who would have thought?

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Who would have thought

A young man's veins held so much blood?

Who would have thought

That birds would sing so loud?

Who would have thought

The sun would shine so bright?

Who would have thought

There ever could be a cloud?

Who would have thought

That leaves would fall so fast?

Who could have thought

The wind would blow so cold at last?

And so goodnight.



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Richard Walker

From the AEF

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mucus n.

A feline imprecation.

curse, n.

An opprobrious term for dogs.


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Richard Walker

Tonight

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When I shook my umbrella,

All the raindrops caught the light.

Where are you now?


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Richard Walker

Pastry Joke

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Edited by Richard Walker, Tuesday, 16 May 2017, 21:57

Q. What do you say when a pastry goes away?

A. Scone.

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Richard Walker

Pastry joke

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Q. How do get a profiterole to go away?

A. Choux pastry!

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Richard Walker

New blog post

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Surprisingly I found a flint tool in the lane tonight.


Several driveways have just had new gravel put down. This flint must have accidentally got kicked out into the lane. I had absolutely no idea that flint tools can be found in gravel, but it seems it's quite common. People living alongside rivers often dropped or discarded flints that then got rolled down the river with other stones, and collected at a point that centuries later became a gravel pit.

Then it got dug up and carried to near where I live.


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Richard Walker

Troublemaker

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Although nothing can exceed a

Glorious Leader,

I wouldn't get out of bed

To be led.

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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Edited by Richard Walker, Monday, 15 May 2017, 01:46
I've started a shop selling watches. Business is slow at the moment, but ticking over.
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Richard Walker

Ant Haiku

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Tiny ant

Smaller than the smallest rice grain

But still alive.

In homage to Issa



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Richard Walker

Garden Doubts Clerihew

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Maybe A. and E.
Only covered themselves figuratively
But they may have felt better for
The metaphor.


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Richard Walker

If Death should call me with a Flower

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Edited by Richard Walker, Saturday, 13 May 2017, 23:31
If Death should call me with a Flower,
I'll take it for a token.
And understand that in the final hour,
Beauty's the thing that's breathed, not spoken.

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Richard Walker

Alla Barnen

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All the kids voted for responsibly sourced food, including Fran.

Except she ate her Gran.

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Richard Walker

Pastry Joke

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How do you get rid of profiteroles?

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Richard Walker

A Ruthless Rhyme for Heartless Homes

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Edited by Richard Walker, Friday, 12 May 2017, 23:55

Although 'twas met with some defiance,

We threw the children to the lions.

Musing, as we heard them scream,

There's far too many whingers on the team!

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Richard Walker

One Liner

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Give me decimals any day. Whole numbers seem so pointless.

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Richard Walker

Half a Haiku

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Caught in Destiny's Headlamps,

I froze.

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Richard Walker

Purple Goat's-Beard

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This is Salsify, also called "Purple Goat's-Beard" (which makes sense if you look at the spiky bits around the petals, although these don't show up well in my photo).

It's also (apparently) called "Go to bed at noon", but the first element  sounds awfully like a Mondegreen, on "goat's-beard", one which has evolved into a folk-name for the plant.

I found these beauties today in Milton Keynes, on a verge. Milton Keynes is good for wildflowers, because there are many quite extensive flower habitats, and lots of green space managed in a thoughtful way.

Although I'm good(ish) on British wildflowers I didn't know what this was until looking it up, but I instantly thought it was very striking and elegant. Some of the sources I looked at said it flowers in June: but here we are, not halfway through May, and a plant from the south is blooming early.

Salsify is a foreigner, that has made its way up from the Mediterranean, with the help of kitchen-gardeners and cooks. The root is claimed to taste like oysters. For recipes see

https://www.bbcgoodfood.com/glossary/salsify

This plant was written about by Pliny the Elder (who died as a result of the eruption that smothered Pompeii) and described by Dioscorides as good for some of the internal organs.

These flowers were so beautiful I would never think of digging up the roots.

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Richard Walker

Blue Moon

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In recent days a blue moon has been seen in Beijing.

Long ago and far away, I saw a blue moon. I was travelling over mountains, in a bus, at night. We had heard that far to our east a famous volcano was erupting. We could not see the eruption itself, but when the moon rose over the eastern mountains it was blue, very approximately the colour of faded denim. Everyone was moonstruck (you might say), but we quickly understood we were seeing the moon through the dust plume of the volcano.

The effect arises from dust particles of a particular size that must be rare in the atmosphere, otherwise we'd all see blue moons regularly. In Beijing the dust must have been blown by the wind from deserts to the north.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ntDnwBiORu8


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Richard Walker

Playground joke

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What sort of cabin does a porter live in?
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