Nothing. Always easy. After that it gets harder.
Personal Blogs
Love Letter
Wednesday, 2 Oct 2019, 00:24
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I’d need lots of work
Lots
Teeth for a start. Might even go to dentures, could you bear that
Some skin flaps to rid of
But there’s a nice little shop that does this
And it’s only round the
Corner
Toenails, well podiatrist. Also local. That’s good and
I could have some attention
From a barber/hairdresser because there is a certain unkemptness about me, this I know.
And then
I might look quite presentable
Would you marry
Me
Th....
...en
One Liner
Wednesday, 2 Oct 2019, 00:02
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Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 2 Oct 2019, 00:32
I had a job as a human cannonball. But they fired me.
A frog problem
Saturday, 28 Sep 2019, 13:13
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I didn't make this problem up, I found it on the Numberphile Youtube channel, but it was new to me and I thought it was interesting.
A frog is on the left-hand bank of a river. In the river are 10 stepping stones as shown.
The frog crosses the river, always moving to the right, by random hops. At each hop it chooses which of the remaining stones it will hop to at random, with equal probability for each remaining stone.
What is the expected number, i.e. the average number, of hops it will make before reaching the other bank?
Tim and his onions
Friday, 27 Sep 2019, 16:53
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One Liner
Wednesday, 25 Sep 2019, 23:25
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When clockmakers reach the end of their career, they can't just retire. They need to wind down gradually.
A Haiku
Tuesday, 24 Sep 2019, 23:26
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Knowing you.
An impossible dream.
That’s why I keep pinching myself.
John's World
Tuesday, 24 Sep 2019, 22:20
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Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 25 Sep 2019, 12:09
Crossword clue
Thursday, 19 Sep 2019, 23:07
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Head over heels yet no evil? (5, 2, 4)
Playgrounder
Tuesday, 17 Sep 2019, 23:40
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Edited by Richard Walker, Wednesday, 18 Sep 2019, 10:01
Q. How do the Alligators pick a new leader?
A. They call a snap election.
One liner
Tuesday, 17 Sep 2019, 23:09
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I've said it once and I'll say it again. I never do encores.
‘Tis better to have loved and lost’
Tuesday, 17 Sep 2019, 01:11
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Edited by Richard Walker, Tuesday, 17 Sep 2019, 01:13
'Tis better to have loved and lost
Than never to have loved at all.
This is from Tennyson, In Memoriam, and for most of my life I assumed it referred to some sort of triangle, with the writer ending up as the loser in love. But I think in fact the rival was not a person but Death, who claimed someone who was a dear friend.
I don’t always like Tennyson’s poetry, but this couplet shows he was sometimes a genius, and this saying resonates with all love, everywhere, and for all time.
Crossword clue
Sunday, 15 Sep 2019, 18:43
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Ligrl? (5,5)
To sleep, perchance to dream...
Sunday, 15 Sep 2019, 18:36
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Tom Swifty
Saturday, 14 Sep 2019, 11:13
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"Everyone knows starving poets live in attics", said Tom - - - - - ly.
Tom Swifty
Thursday, 12 Sep 2019, 23:10
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"Goodbye old house", said Tom ______ly
I went to the doctor...
Thursday, 12 Sep 2019, 22:14
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I went to the doctor, I said “I don’t know if I’m coming or going.”. She said “Make another appointment on the way out.”
Tom Swifty
Monday, 9 Sep 2019, 22:06
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“The soloist is out of tune”, said Tom flatly.
Guelder Roses
Sunday, 8 Sep 2019, 15:29
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I found these glowing berries in a nearby hedge. They are the fruits of the guelder rose, named apparently from the town of Geldern in modern-day Germany. The ealiest reference in the Oxford English Diction is from Gerard's Herbal of 1597
"The Rose Elder is called in Latine Sambucus Rosea, and Sambucus aquatica..in English Gelders Rose, and Rose Elder"
The modern botanical name is Viburnum Opulus and it's often called the snowball tree because of the flowers.
Gerard also calls it the elder rose and gives a description on page 255.
"... the leaves are like the vine leaves, among which come forth goodly floures of a white colour"
which ties in pretty well with Viburnum Opulus and you can see the vine-shaped leaves in my photograph.
Some sites suggest this is the plant that Chaucer refers to in the Nun's Priest's Tale as gaiter berries but I don't think there is enough evidence to be sure.
Happy Olivedaze
Friday, 6 Sep 2019, 00:34
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Edited by Richard Walker, Friday, 6 Sep 2019, 00:40
Repeated from last year, but I rather like it
One Liner
Tuesday, 3 Sep 2019, 13:47
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My neighbours have some pond fish who hide themselves away. Apparently they’re coy.
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