Personal Blogs

I was going to change my mind. But then I thought, nah.

6.5 of one and half a baker's dozen of the other.

Dog, what word is a synonym for that part of a fireplace where combustible substances such as wood or coal are burned?

Arf.

That's correct.

APPLAUSE

Cat: what Latin word is commonly used to express the sense of ‘for each’?

Purr.

Correct.

APPLAUSE

Dog: what name is given to the top covering of a house or cottage, typically made of slate, tile, or thatch?

Roof.

Correct.

APPLAUSE

Cat: what was of the name of the Chinese Communist who lead the so-called Long March, later becoming the country's ruler?

Mao.

Again correct.

Dog: what is the outermost layer, or integument, of the stem of a woody plant called?

Bark.

Correct again.

APPLAUSE

Cat: in the Greek alphabet, what letter comes after Lambda?

Mew.

Correct, and at the end of round one the scores are level pegging.

APPLAUSE

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I like to think I never lie to myself.

Lemmings believe they can fly

To the sky

But they end up stiff

At the bottom of a cliff.

You deserted me

But who's Sahara now?

Uncle Ebenezer lays coir and sisal flooring. Customers say he does a top-class job but is rather dour and humourless. He's no laughing matter.

Napoleon Bonaparte

Would never admit to a fart.

He always used to say

"Please excuse Marshall Ney".

This cup from my collection is decorated in the 'Castles and Roses' style of folk art, traditionally associated with canal boats on the British waterways.

In this style of decorative art roses are prominent, often set off by daisies. A daisy is such a common flower that its beauty is often overlooked. The name daisy comes from 'day's eye', dægesege, its Old English form, named for the way the flowers close tightly at everning and then reopen at dawn, and recorded from around 1000. The Oxford English Dictionary quotes Chaucer from later, about 1385

Wele by reson men it calle may The dayeseye, or ellis the eye of day.

My new social media service lets people share guilty secrets. It's called 'Fessbook'.

I've set up a new society to help people who suffer from tedium, ennui, apathy, lassitude, listlessness, etc., etc. Well I won't go on. The members have shown their confidence by electing me chairman of the bored.