Personal Blogs
The Herald
Wednesday, 19 Sep 2018, 22:56
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General Knowledge Quiz
Wednesday, 19 Sep 2018, 22:26
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Playground Joke
Tuesday, 18 Sep 2018, 23:41
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Q. What happens if Captain Kirk trips over?
A. He falls flat on his phaser!
Another Disappointment
Tuesday, 18 Sep 2018, 00:56
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After so many failed ventures, I was really hoping my new plumbing business would succeed. Alas it was just a pipe dream.
Shaggy Pig Story
Monday, 17 Sep 2018, 22:16
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These lovely autumn cyclamens
Planted so long ago now
Make me love the passing seasons.
Apparently cyclamens were once called sow-breads, a translation from medieval Latin panis porcinus = bread of pigs (compare panis angelicus).There was a belief that pigs eat the tubers of these plants. The OED gives this quotation from Lindley, 1830:
"...this is the principal food of the wild boars of Sicily."
Hmm. Miller, 1731 is probably a little closer:
"The Root is round like a Loaf, and the Sows eat it."
I think you can tell these stories to the Mafia. There is no scientific evidence that pigs eat cyclamen tubers.
But nosing around and digging deeper, I did root out some solid evidence that
(a) Some pigs dig cylamen tubers up
(b) Said tubers look like small round breads.
This excellent blog post goes into more detail and has a lovely photo of a pig *not* eating a tuber, although it gave it a good digging-up.
At Last, You Can Take It With You
Sunday, 16 Sep 2018, 21:17
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Invest now in our new Crypto-O-Currency, the only wealth you can spend beyond the grave!
Buy now while stocks last.
New blog post
Sunday, 16 Sep 2018, 19:32
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Until now my role in WW2 has been top secret. But now I'm allowed to share. I was in charge of pedantics.
Emergency Fortune Teller
Saturday, 15 Sep 2018, 22:49
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You may have heard of the Flying Doctor, but my new startup, 'Emergency Fortune Teller, lets clairvoyants fly to where they are urgently needed. Business is brisk, and profits are soaring.
What Would You Call This Clear-Headed Couple...
Saturday, 15 Sep 2018, 21:21
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A Fabulous Beast
Wednesday, 12 Sep 2018, 22:50
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When Lucy saw the talk was entitled "Mythical megafauna in Welsh legend", she just read dragon.
Playground Joke
Wednesday, 12 Sep 2018, 22:39
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Q. What are bonkers?
A. People who run bonks!
New Dog Breed, Very Intelligent
Wednesday, 12 Sep 2018, 20:54
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Edited by Richard Walker, Thursday, 13 Sep 2018, 15:07
Credits
Crossword grid: me
Dog http://getdrawings.com/irish-setter-silhouette#irish-setter-silhouette-1.png
Out Of It
Monday, 10 Sep 2018, 22:23
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Edited by Richard Walker, Monday, 10 Sep 2018, 22:24
“Pie in the sky”
Saturday, 8 Sep 2018, 22:13
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Last night I went to an excellent talk/performance by Will Kaufman, an academic authority on American protest singers, particularly Woody Guthrie, and at the same time a folk singer in his own right. There I learned the origin of the phrase “Pie in the sky”.
Nowadays it generally means a thing that would be rather nice, but isn't very likely to happen. But it comes from a biting satire, “The Preacher and the Slave” written in 1911 by the union organiser Joe Hill.
The tune is “In the Sweet By and By” and the words begin
“Long-haired preachers come out every night
Try to tell you what’s wrong and what’s right
But when asked about something to eat
They will answer in voices so sweet
CHORUS:
You will eat, bye and bye
In that glorious land above the sky
Work and pray, live on hay
You’ll get pie in the sky when you die (that’s a lie)”
Startup
Saturday, 8 Sep 2018, 20:15
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My new firm will be the Uber of Asian lentil dishes. I’m going to call it “Dial-a-Daal”.
Boom! Boom!
Saturday, 8 Sep 2018, 19:04
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“Did you get those jaws?”
“What jaws?”
“Thanks Squire, I’ll have a double G & T.”
Telling Dad
Saturday, 8 Sep 2018, 01:21
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When I told Dad I was a comedian, he looked at me in a pitying sort of way. I’ll ever forget his words. “You're a funny kind of bloke.”
Tongue twister
Saturday, 8 Sep 2018, 00:50
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This one's Greek.
Mia papia
Ma pia papia?
A duck
But which duck?
Ad of the week
Saturday, 8 Sep 2018, 00:03
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Edited by Richard Walker, Saturday, 8 Sep 2018, 00:09
I saw this ad for “Live horse racing”. I bet dead horse racing requires a lot more flogging.
A Message To Loafers Everywhere
Friday, 7 Sep 2018, 00:41
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Tis better to have loafed and lost,
Than never to have loafed at all.
James Thurber
The American humorist James Thurber is best known for his gem The Secret Life of Walter Mitty. I think it has been made into a film at least once, but from what I recall the cinematographic version took liberties with the original, and I didn't like it so much. You can read Thurber's original short story here
https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/1939/03/18/the-secret-life-of-walter-james-thurber
What Would You Call...
Thursday, 6 Sep 2018, 11:07
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Social Media
Wednesday, 5 Sep 2018, 20:38
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There's a new way for grain farmers in the Yorkshire to communicate online. It's called T'wheat.
Playground Joke meets Spooner
Wednesday, 5 Sep 2018, 20:29
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Q. What's the difference between telling a cricketer their scoring was awsome, and explaining why their car won't start?
A. The first is bat flattery; the second flat battery.
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