Personal Blogs

The news is wearing my dog out. It's all, "Beg, sit. Beg, sit. Beg, sit".

My latest web startup is for people who want to come clean, over shameful things they've done. It's called "Fessbook".

"Oh Mummy, Daddy", cried the baby Gods and Godesses.

"Why can't we pelt the human beings with hail?"

"Because I said snow."

If you claimed cheese never existed, you'd be a cheese denier.

But merely pondering on its purpose would make you a cheese whyer.

"Y?"

"Because I Z so!"

I've never forgotten.

The button presses.

The bathroom geyser that regularly exploded.

The woman that cried every night on the stairs.

That we were happy then.

There's a plaice for us

Hit the roach jack

Sole tune

Sild with a kiss

I got the hippy hippy hake

Happy dace are here again 

Char, char, char

Salmon my way

Whiting for love

Trout of luck

Is this the face that sunk a thousand chips?

'Tis better to have lunched a lot, than never to have lunched at all.

When young, we were expected to learn proverbs at school. For example, "Accidents will happen".

Having a retentive memory, for this kind of thing at least, and admiring some of the poetry that makes them memorable, I always liked being sent to the back of the class to learn more.

But mostly these pearls of wisdom sound nice, but tell us nothing as a guide in life. So I thought I would try to compose some novel ones, which would be memorable in the same way as the saying, "Rome wasn't burnt in a day", but pass on useful information for our times. My first is 

"Always put the soup in the saucepan".

This advice feel noteworthy and eloquent, and I know it is worth following, from recent personal experience.

I've started a new charity, providing soft drinks to depressed rodents. It's called Lemming Aid.

Wet lavender smell

Knocks me down at fifty yards.

Rainy summer. Night.

There was a man sat on a branch

To hear the bright moon sing.

Because he feared the avalanche 

That Heaven's bells next bring.