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And by passed I mean just passed. Grade 4 by the tiniest of margins. I tell myself that I am too old for exams but even I realize that that's a vile self-serving lie to let me off lightly. I just couldn't do it, maths was beyond my ken.

Still now they, the maths courses, are gone, past and passed. How do I feel? Strangely odd, I wanted to do better but that stuff was hard. I do computer stuff without much bother, when it came to maths I was always panic-threshing at something that I didn't quite get. Too often I found myself writing my TMAs drunk with music blasting and ,if my wife wasn't there, an incoherence of dancing too. I enjoyed myself and submitted pish.

Was I wrong to do maths? I can answer that with a definite no! I may not have covered myself in any glory, the pale of failure was mine but I learnt a different way to think. I thought about the way that I think.

It's ok to be an idiot, at something, for a while, as long as it helps you to be wise elsewhere. Maths did that for me.

Every thing that I will do in the rest of my life will be coloured by that fact that I had the bottle to tackle maths. Or the insights that I got there.

I failed in what I set out to do, but I am not unchanged. And perhaps to be changed was what I should have set out to be?

Things I can do well, as someone once said of Ajax, "some God gave me", maths, what I got from that I worked for. Hard and with some effort.

I'm proud of what little I know.

When I, once-or-twice, attended my brick-university, there was this place called the grease-pit; where you could eat anything fried.

All I really remember about it is that they made the best ever easy-over eggs and a quote on the wall from the Naked Lunch. It was on-canvas, in oils, created by a proper art student and covered in a thin film of fat.

It was the, clarity on the end a the fork, quote [for, despite what everyone pretends, nobody has ever read that book]. Tonight that art-work/quote came flashing back to me.

I decided to add a wee-bit-more functionality to the solitaire thingee. My additions had caused a rippling-through-chaos-effect. The thing thralled.

But the additions worked, in their own way, during the process, I don't want to lose them. Perhaps a fork? This is a job for: version control; I hadn't committed.

The Hg documenation seems a bit vague...oh, branch, or clone?, still...? I can't use the it! Can I? When will I ever learn!?

I can't see what's at the end of my fork clearly.