I have friends who speak English as a second language. And not only do they communicate successfully, but they are inventive and funny. I wonder how I get to that point and how long it will take me.
I feel ponderously slow. The mechanics of language and grammar are fine. I can read and understand. But writing and speaking involve efforts of will to build sentences more complicated than a simple oui or non. And listening is a lottery, where sometimes I win and my prize is comprehension. Other times I just don’t get it at all. A stream of sounds, where the shapes of words are hidden.
Today I am very tired, I feel daunted. But in two weeks time, I will have submitted my first assignment. A moment of truth. “Try harder” or “you’re doing ok”.