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Jim McCrory

What's This Inside My Head Nudging me When I Do Bad?

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…holding on to faith and a good conscience, 

which some have rejected and thereby shipwrecked their faith.” — I Timothy 1:19 (BSB).


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I was over in Rome a few years back. One evening I was having a meal with friends. One of them visited local prisons to Bring The Christian message to inmates. One of the prisoners who had been a member of the mafia confessed that he had taken many lives and asked "Will God ever forgive me?" This was troubling his conscience deeply; a sign that an outside influence was at work in his inner conscience.

This resonated with me. C.S. Lewis had much to say  on divine influence,  especially his idea of a “controlling power” that speaks within rather than through what we see. Lewis proposes that a higher power could not reveal itself as another physical fact in our universe but would instead press on us from within, gently urging a response we cannot ignore.

Lewis' analogy of a house speaks to this. Just as a house’s builder does not reside within the walls, the divine, if real, would reach us differently, nudging us through a sense of direction we feel yet cannot see. What Lewis suggests is that this inner prompting should “arouse suspicions.” Why do we feel a pull toward qualities like love, truth, or kindness? Despite the noise of daily life, this inner voice seems to keep calling, a steady influence that does not easily fit within a material worldview.

Moments exist when I have ignored this voice. I sometimes let pride and my own ideas drive me, leaving me with a feeling of unease. Ignoring this guidance unsettles, like losing footing. The voice within, though quiet, presses back, drawing attention to a deeper alignment needed. It reminds me to pause, to listen, and to reconnect with what feels right and true.

For me, Lewis’ framing of this inner influence is an invitation. If we all have this inner voice that points us to something greater, it might be our most important clue that there is more than just ourselves in play. This prompting asks us to trust, to let it shape how we live and act, rather than being merely a vague feeling.

In following this quiet nudge, I feel we find something of lasting worth—not our own goals but a peace that comes from something, or Someone, who knows us fully.


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Jim McCrory

The controlling power outside the universe

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Edited by Jim McCrory, Wednesday, 9 Oct 2024, 08:12


 Image kindly provided by Natasha Connell



C.S. Lewis has always had a way of nudging me toward contemplation. His words, like a gentle hand on the shoulder, steer us to consider the larger mysteries of existence, drawing our attention beyond the surface. The quote in question, which speaks to a "controlling power outside the universe," tugs at a deep, instinctive awareness we’ve all encountered but perhaps struggle to define. This invisible, intangible influence that stirs within is as elusive as it is undeniable.

 

For as long as I can remember, I have felt the weight of this inner voice, a sense of guidance that quietly urges me toward right living. It never shouts. Instead, it whispers gently, persistently, often in the stillness of a walk in the hills or during a moment of reflection before sleep. Sometimes I’ve tried to drown it out with reason, dismissing it as my overactive conscience or the residue of some moral upbringing. But Lewis’ words suggest otherwise—that this voice is not simply a product of my psychology, but perhaps a clue to something beyond, something much grander and more profound.

 

As a child, I often wandered through forests or along the rocky Scottish shores, overwhelmed by the beauty and complexity of nature. I didn’t have the language to articulate what I was feeling then, but there was a knowing—a sense that I was part of something much larger than myself. I would sit and watch the clouds, or listen to the waves lap against the shore, and feel something inside me stir. At the time, I couldn't name this sensation, but now I understand it as that "influence" Lewis describes. It was more than awe or wonder; it was a connection to a greater reality, a whisper of the divine.

 

But as we grow older, life has a way of drowning out these subtler voices. We are told to focus on what we can measure, touch, and quantify. Modern life, with its emphasis on productivity and material success, leaves little room for the spiritual or the unseen. And yet, that inner voice never truly goes away. It continues to speak, gently reminding us to look beyond the visible, to behave in ways that reflect not just who we are, but who we were made to be.

 

I often think of Lewis’ analogy: just as the artifacts of a house cannot be part of the house itself, the divine cannot simply be another object within our universe, another "thing" to be observed or dissected. Instead, it reveals itself to us in the only way we could possibly understand—through the stirrings of our own conscience, the quiet promptings to act with kindness, humility, and love. These are not just moral guidelines; they are the fingerprints of something beyond the world as we know it, guiding us from within.

 

There have been moments in my life when I’ve ignored that voice—when I’ve let my ego or pride drown out its gentle guidance. These are the moments I look back on with a sense of regret, for they feel like missed opportunities to align myself with something higher. But when I do listen—when I act out of compassion, empathy, or selflessness—I find a sense of peace, as though I’m walking in step with the rhythm of the universe itself.

 

Lewis suggests that the presence of this inner voice should "arouse our suspicions." And indeed, it does. What is this force that seems to know us better than we know ourselves? What is this guidance that pushes us toward a better version of ourselves, even when we resist? It would be easier to dismiss it if it didn’t feel so personal, so intentional. But that’s precisely what makes it so compelling—it feels as though it is aimed directly at me, as though someone, or something, is trying to reach me through the only means possible: my own heart.

 

In my writing, especially as I reflect on what it means to be human, this theme recurs. We are more than the sum of our actions, more than flesh and bone navigating a material world. There is a deeper dimension to our existence, one that is revealed not through scientific discovery or intellectual pursuit, but through the quiet urgings of our soul. This inner voice is not just a moral compass—it is the divine calling us back to ourselves, and back to the One who made us.

 

Perhaps that is why Lewis' words resonate so deeply with me. He understood that faith is not about proving God's existence through external evidence, but about recognizing His presence within us. The "controlling power" he speaks of is not a distant force, but an intimate one, quietly leading us toward love, toward truth, toward the best of ourselves.

 

And so, as I sit here reflecting on this quote, I am reminded to listen more carefully, to attune myself to the whispering voice within. It is not always easy to hear, especially in the noise of modern life, but it is there. And in those moments when I do listen, I find myself not only more at peace with the world around me but also more connected to the One beyond it.

"I speak the truth in Christ; I am not lying, 

as confirmed by my conscience in the Holy Spirit."

Romans 9:1 (BSB).


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