Personal Blogs

There's a new website that advises executives who have personal problems. It's called "Management consult aunts".

I believe it's a beaver I perceive,

And not an otter, which is otterly different.

Have you ever wondered why we eat so much tinned food? It's because we can.

Edna's a comedian

She pumices to make you erupt

Into lava.

Our local handyman has no idea how to stick things together. He's utterly glueless.

On the day of the grammar exam, I knew I'd be asked about the Past, Present and Future. I felt all tensed up.

This week we have to give the cave a real tidy up, so the painters can get in.

Have you seen the mammoth pictures these guys do? It's just awesome.

In our little seaside town we have an annual Teddy Bear race ('Ready Teddy, Go!").

It generates intense competition. There are two rival camps: one lives up the hill above the town, the other near the beach.

Every year we hold our breath. Where will the winner be from?

Last time it was a very close run thing, won by a Shore Ted.

There's an office for budget responsibility. Seems tough to pick on these little birds.

Corporal punishment. Now there's a wacky idea.

"I've got a coleslaw on my lip."

This is a perfectly reasonable thing for a person to hear. It's the name of something. Unless you know coleslaw is the name of a different thing why would you question it? It's really close in spirit to the Lady Mondegreen.

One of our salesmen went to negotiate a contract in the Baltics. He made a mistake over the price, but it couldn't be altered, because it was set in Estonia.

I've being reading in the New Scientist about the (rather romantically named) Opposite Birds. These evolved from dinosaurs at about the same time as the ancestors of modern birds and coexisted with them for millions of years. They had feathers and must have been good fliers.

Then came the mass extinction of 65 mya. Of all the dinosaurs only modern birds survived. You might have thought that being so similar the Opposite Birds would have lived on too. Mysteriously they didn't and it's quite hard to understand why.

Here's a rather nice reconstruction of an opposite bird. If you look closely you'll see it has teeth.

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Shanweiniao_cooperorum.jpg