L'enfant gâté
"But his father had never once infuriated him by asking,
“Why did you do that?'”
– 1 Kings 1:6 (CSB).
Image generated with the assistance of Microsoft Copilot
The following thoughts were prompted after seeing a child sitting on the supermarket floor screaming and refusing to move until her mum bought her a toy. The mother gave in. I wondered how this would unpack as the child grew up. Let’s ponder on this.
A spoiled child is one who has been overindulged, excessively coddled, or shielded from life’s natural struggles. Such a child often grows up with an expectation that the world will bend to their desires, finding it difficult to adjust to a reality that is far less accommodating. The consequences of this upbringing can be profound, affecting relationships, career prospects, and personal development well into adulthood.
Spoiling a child often begins with well-intentioned parents or parent who wish to provide comfort, protection, or privilege. They may struggle to say no, overcompensate due to guilt, or mistakenly equate love with indulgence. The child grows up in an environment where their needs and wants are met instantly, without effort or consequence. In the absence of boundaries and discipline, the child learns entitlement rather than responsibility, preference over patience, and demand over gratitude.
Though the effects of spoiling can vary, common traits emerge: an inability to manage disappointment, poor resilience, a lack of gratitude, and a distorted view of one’s own importance. These characteristics, while tolerated in childhood, become glaring liabilities in adulthood.
One of the most immediate challenges a spoiled child-turned-adult faces is in personal relationships. Friendships and romantic connections require compromise, patience, and understanding. The entitlement cultivated in childhood often manifests in unrealistic expectations of others. They may struggle with rejection, feel slighted by perceived slights, or demand attention without reciprocation. As a result, they may experience frequent conflicts, failed relationships, and an inability to form deep, meaningful connections.
Adulthood is filled with setbacks—financial difficulties, career disappointments, personal failures—but resilience is built through experiencing and overcoming hardship. A spoiled child, having been shielded from struggle, often lacks the emotional strength to cope with life’s inevitable difficulties. They may react with frustration, blame external circumstances, or retreat into avoidance. Their emotional fragility may also make them prone to anxiety or depression when life does not meet their expectations.
The workforce does not
cater to entitlement. Promotions must be earned, conflicts must be resolved,
and hard work is often required before recognition is given. A spoiled adult
who expects immediate success or special treatment may find themselves frustrated
when reality does not align with their expectations. They may struggle with
authority, take criticism personally, or lack the work ethic necessary to
thrive. As a result, career stagnation, frequent job changes, or professional
isolation can occur.
A child who is handed everything without effort is unlikely to develop
financial discipline. As an adult, they may struggle with budgeting, impulse
control, or saving for the future. Instant gratification—reinforced through
childhood indulgence—can lead to reckless spending, debt accumulation, or an
inability to manage financial independence. Some may continue to rely on their
parents well into adulthood, further delaying their personal growth.
Ironically, a spoiled child often grows into an unfulfilled adult. Having been given everything, they may find themselves disillusioned when life does not continue to deliver rewards effortlessly. Without the struggle that gives meaning to achievement, they may feel a sense of emptiness, always searching for external sources of happiness like social media rather than developing inner contentment.
Fortunately, a spoiled childhood does not have to define adulthood. Growth and change are possible, but they require self-awareness, humility, and effort. Many adults who recognize their entitlement can begin to reshape their habits—learning patience, gratitude, and perseverance. Life itself often becomes the greatest teacher, providing hard lessons that gradually reshape unrealistic expectations.
Parents, or parent, can play a role in preventing these difficulties by setting boundaries, teaching the value of effort, and allowing children to experience and navigate small struggles early on. Discipline, not indulgence, is the greater act of love, for it prepares a child to face the world with strength and wisdom.
A spoiled childhood may seem like a gift in the moment, but it can become a burden in adulthood. Without the necessary skills to navigate hardship, build relationships, and contribute meaningfully to society, a spoiled child often faces a life of disappointment and frustration. However, awareness and intentional change can reverse these effects, allowing an individual to develop the resilience, discipline, and humility needed to thrive in the real world. True growth comes not from constant comfort, but from learning to endure, adapt, and persevere.