"For as I draw closer and closer to the end, I travel in a circle, nearer and nearer to the beginning."
Mr Lorry--- A Tale of Two Cities
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Amma Odi: The Circle of Comfort
As I navigate life’s chapters, certain thoughts, words, and memories resonate more deeply, like the rediscovery of a familiar song. One such word is the Telugu expression Amma Odi—a mother’s lap or bosom, the ultimate sanctuary of comfort, love, and security. It conjures the primal haven where no harm intrudes, and no trouble lingers. This image, woven with nostalgia, draws me back to my childhood, pulled irresistibly by the gravity of memory.
Early days feel paradoxically distant and achingly close. Charles Dickens captures this tension in A Tale of Two Cities, where Sydney Carton questions Mr. Lorry about the remoteness of childhood. Mr. Lorry’s answer strikes a resonant chord:
“For as I draw closer and closer to the end, I travel in a circle, nearer and nearer to the beginning. It seems to be of the kind smoothing of the way.”
His words hold profound truth. Life feels less linear and more cyclical as we age. Memories of sitting on my mother’s knee—her lap the fortress of my small world—grow vivid, as if time has folded back upon itself. The farther I travel forward, the closer I feel to those simpler moments when love was tangible and infinite.
Amma Odi embodies more than physical comfort; it offers emotional and spiritual reassurance. It echoes humanity’s longing for connection and the certainty of being cradled by unconditional love. This thought reminds me of the importance of creating spaces of solace for those I cherish. In giving comfort, I reconnect with the comfort I once knew.
Childhood memories—snippets of laughter, discovery, and wonder—carry a dual weight. They are treasures to cherish and mirrors reflecting gains and losses. As these memories surface more frequently with age, they offer bittersweet solace. They remind me of my reliance on others and the sacred role my parents played in shaping who I’ve become.
Dickens’ metaphor of traveling in a circle resonates with a spiritual truth I hold dear. Life, at its core, is about returning—returning to innocence, faith, and love. Nostalgia and the fleeting nature of life call us to shed pretences and rediscover our essential selves. For me, this rediscovery aligns with faith, which speaks of an eternal return to a place where love, comfort, and security fulfil the soul’s deepest longings.
Reflecting on these themes links me not only to my past but also to my present. It calls me to live authentically, to cherish the circle of love that connects us, and to recognize that no matter how far we journey, the comfort of beginnings remains within reach.