“People want to be loved...
They want to evoke some sort of sentiment.
The soul shudders before oblivion
and seeks connection at any price.”
Hjalmar Söderberg, Doctor Glas
The Pain of Being Shy
Are you shy? Do you find it difficult to converse in public, or even to know how to begin a conversation? Many young people today are struggling in this area, and I understand that feeling all too well—I was shy once upon a time and I know how painful that can be.
One of the greatest obstacles to human connection today is the “cyber-hive.” We live surrounded by devices, messages, and endless scrolling, but this constant hum of digital noise can rob us of real encounters—those moments of looking someone in the eye, smiling, and sharing words that matter.
If you read this blog regularly, you’ll know the joy I get from meeting people. But I’ve learned that it isn’t just about having the confidence to speak. It’s also about the spirit you carry when you step out into the world. One thing I often do when I go out walking or into the city is to bring this before God in my morning prayers. I ask Him to bless my efforts, and sometimes I ask, “Heavenly Father, if there’s a lost soul out there today, would you send them my way?”
You may be surprised how often God answers this prayer, and usually in the most unexpected ways. A stranger on a train. Someone pausing in the park. A conversation struck up while waiting in line. These are the small doorways , and when you step through them, you discover that faith and courage walk hand in hand.
What I’ve come to believe is that God knows the heart. When we open our hearts to Him, He draws close to us, and that closeness becomes a quiet reassurance. Even in our shyness, even in our hesitations, His presence steadies us. We are reminded in Acts 17: 27 that “He [God] is not far from each one of us.”
One of the greatest conversations ever recorded took place not in a grand hall, but on a quiet road; the road to Emmaus Two disciples walked alongside a man they did not at first recognize, until the truth dawned on them—it was the risen Jesus. A simple walk became a life-changing encounter. That is the way God works still. Consider how it began,
"That same day two of them were going to a village called Emmaus, about seven miles from Jerusalem. They were talking with each other about everything that had happened. And as they talked and deliberated, Jesus Himself came up and walked along with them. But their eyes were kept from recognizing Him.
He asked them, 'What are you discussing so intently as you walk along?”'
This is not to say that we walk up to people and ask what they were talking about. Openers must be culturally appropriate. I have had some wonderful connections with others by simply saying, “Do you mind if I ask you what your book is about?” I have had great moments with professors, young people, literature students and psychologists by that simple question.
The book of Acts reminds us: “He is not far from each one of us.” That includes you. So, if you are shy, take heart. Lift your eyes. Say a prayer before you step out. You never know whom God may place in your path, and what quiet, beautiful conversations may follow. And if at first you don’t succeed…
And may God bless you as you experience the joy of human connection.
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Bible quotes from the BSB