“The primary goal of all institutions and subcultures is self-preservation.”
Daniel Taylor, The Myth of Certainty
Spiritual Trauma within the Flock of Christ
I couldn’t sleep the night before last, so I put on a presentation by Diane Langberg. I thought it might help pass the time. Instead, it felt as if someone had turned a light toward a place I already knew. And wow—it hit home.
I left the religion I had been part of for more than thirty years, and this very subject was one of the reasons. That chapter is behind me now, but I could still recognise what Dr Langberg was talking about.
Her own path into this work began in 1972, while she was studying psychology. A woman she was counselling told her that her father had sexually abused her. Langberg asked a supervisor for advice, but he dismissed the woman’s story and told Langberg not to believe her. Then other women began to share similar experiences. Langberg chose to listen.
That choice mattered. Around the same time, she was counselling men returning from Vietnam. She began to notice that the pain they carried from war had much in common with the suffering of women who had been abused or assaulted. Her training had given her little help in understanding these experiences, so she began reading about the Holocaust and the terrible effects of violence on human beings. (Langberg’s account of her journey.)
As the years went by, Langberg saw that harm could happen inside congregations also. Leaders who were trusted to care for people sometimes used that trust to control or hurt them. And when survivors spoke up, a congregation might close ranks around the leader or the institution to protect the brand or image. That part stays with me. A church should be a place where someone can tell the truth and be met with care.
Langberg writes about how trauma can follow a person into ordinary life: into sleep, work, relationships, feelings, hope and faith. Her Christian hope doesn’t ask people to pretend they are fine or hurry through their healing. It asks the church to stay near, listen carefully, protect people from further harm and walk with them for as long as it takes. (Langberg on suffering and the church.)
I’m glad I watched her presentation. It helped me put words to why this subject matters, and why religious leaders and congregations need to take people’s experiences seriously. Sometimes the first act of care is simply to listen—and not turn away.
Further reading: Langberg’s account of her journey; her books on trauma, abuse and power.