Personal Blogs

A vagrant wanders empty ruins.

Suddenly he’s wealthy.

Rumi

Image generated with the assistance of Microsoft word

We were just kids, only eleven, growing up in the Glasgow slums in the sixties. Without two pennies to rub together, my two pals and I used to spend our days exploring derelict buildings, poking around the rubble with sticks, always on the lookout for treasure—or anything that might spark our curiosity. 

One afternoon, I think it was Harry who spotted an old, weather-beaten jacket lying in the corner of a half-collapsed room. He rummaged through the pockets, and to our amazement, pulled out three five-pound notes and a ten-bob note. We stared in disbelief, then broke into wild cheers, dancing around as if we’d won the lottery.

With the ten-bob note, we treated ourselves to a slap-up meal from the chippy, and with the rest we each bought a tin of Creamola Foam. We mixed it with water in old jam jars and spent the rest of the day fizzing with delight, laughing and burping in the sunshine.

But looking back now, I sometimes wonder who that jacket belonged to. Three fivers and a ten-bob note; that could’ve been a man's wages for a week. Maybe he lost it on his way home, or maybe he never made it there at all. 

We were just boys, caught up in the thrill. But someone, somewhere, might have paid dearly for that joy. But eleven-year-olds don't think that far down the road.

Note: Creamola Foam,

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Creamola_Foam

 Image kindly provided by Natasha Connell

C.S. Lewis has always had a way of nudging me toward contemplation. His words, like a gentle hand on the shoulder, steer us to consider the larger mysteries of existence, drawing our attention beyond the surface. The quote in question, which speaks to a "controlling power outside the universe," tugs at a deep, instinctive awareness we’ve all encountered but perhaps struggle to define. This invisible, intangible influence that stirs within is as elusive as it is undeniable.

For as long as I can remember, I have felt the weight of this inner voice, a sense of guidance that quietly urges me toward right living. It never shouts. Instead, it whispers gently, persistently, often in the stillness of a walk in the hills or during a moment of reflection before sleep. Sometimes I’ve tried to drown it out with reason, dismissing it as my overactive conscience or the residue of some moral upbringing. But Lewis’ words suggest otherwise—that this voice is not simply a product of my psychology, but perhaps a clue to something beyond, something much grander and more profound.

As a child, I often wandered through forests or along the rocky Scottish shores, overwhelmed by the beauty and complexity of nature. I didn’t have the language to articulate what I was feeling then, but there was a knowing—a sense that I was part of something much larger than myself. I would sit and watch the clouds, or listen to the waves lap against the shore, and feel something inside me stir. At the time, I couldn't name this sensation, but now I understand it as that "influence" Lewis describes. It was more than awe or wonder; it was a connection to a greater reality, a whisper of the divine.

But as we grow older, life has a way of drowning out these subtler voices. We are told to focus on what we can measure, touch, and quantify. Modern life, with its emphasis on productivity and material success, leaves little room for the spiritual or the unseen. And yet, that inner voice never truly goes away. It continues to speak, gently reminding us to look beyond the visible, to behave in ways that reflect not just who we are, but who we were made to be.

I often think of Lewis’ analogy: just as the artifacts of a house cannot be part of the house itself, the divine cannot simply be another object within our universe, another "thing" to be observed or dissected. Instead, it reveals itself to us in the only way we could possibly understand—through the stirrings of our own conscience, the quiet promptings to act with kindness, humility, and love. These are not just moral guidelines; they are the fingerprints of something beyond the world as we know it, guiding us from within.

There have been moments in my life when I’ve ignored that voice—when I’ve let my ego or pride drown out its gentle guidance. These are the moments I look back on with a sense of regret, for they feel like missed opportunities to align myself with something higher. But when I do listen—when I act out of compassion, empathy, or selflessness—I find a sense of peace, as though I’m walking in step with the rhythm of the universe itself.

Lewis suggests that the presence of this inner voice should "arouse our suspicions." And indeed, it does. What is this force that seems to know us better than we know ourselves? What is this guidance that pushes us toward a better version of ourselves, even when we resist? It would be easier to dismiss it if it didn’t feel so personal, so intentional. But that’s precisely what makes it so compelling—it feels as though it is aimed directly at me, as though someone, or something, is trying to reach me through the only means possible: my own heart.

In my writing, especially as I reflect on what it means to be human, this theme recurs. We are more than the sum of our actions, more than flesh and bone navigating a material world. There is a deeper dimension to our existence, one that is revealed not through scientific discovery or intellectual pursuit, but through the quiet urgings of our soul. This inner voice is not just a moral compass—it is the divine calling us back to ourselves, and back to the One who made us.

Perhaps that is why Lewis' words resonate so deeply with me. He understood that faith is not about proving God's existence through external evidence, but about recognizing His presence within us. The "controlling power" he speaks of is not a distant force, but an intimate one, quietly leading us toward love, toward truth, toward the best of ourselves.

And so, as I sit here reflecting on this quote, I am reminded to listen more carefully, to attune myself to the whispering voice within. It is not always easy to hear, especially in the noise of modern life, but it is there. And in those moments when I do listen, I find myself not only more at peace with the world around me but also more connected to the One beyond it.

"I speak the truth in Christ; I am not lying, 

as confirmed by my conscience in the Holy Spirit."

Romans 9:1 (BSB).