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Being UKish
[2 minute read ]
Opinion
07:28 Sunday 20th August 2026:
You know, tea, no matter how strong, just cannot compete with strong coffee for waking me up. Yet, I cannot help but to think, 'Why do I need to "wake up!" today?' Well, it is not a case of today being a special day that requires me to be more awake than any other day, it is more that my self-analysis checks are showing that I am in the doldrums. The doldrums is the 'Intertropical Convergence Zone' where the Northeast and Southeast trade winds converge, which according to Wikipedia encircles the thermal equator. I am not physically there. It is where there is long periods of no wind or a sailing ship is becalmed. Not good if you have to be somewhere else. Mentally, I want to be somewhere else. I don't have any coffee so I am going to the shop. It is 08:15
08:51
Do you ever start talking to someone and suddenly realise you are preaching to the choir? It is always difficult for me to talk to people from Ireland. We have very close ties with Ireland . Even the idea that we should not talk about religion or politics, I think, may be based on Ireland. I was in conversation with a lovely lady from County Mayo to whom I had to explain that the six counties that make up 'Northern Ireland' are not British, and the citizens are not British by a round-about way of saying that England is not even a real country because Scotland has never agreed that England should be recognised as such, somehow. I had heard that from a YouTube video by 'Mapmen' and I mentally logged it. True or not, it may be useful to impart such information into a hectic conversation on sovereignty when you suddenly realise you are talking to an Irishwoman outside the local village shop who thinks that the people in Northern Ireland are British. But there are layers to be peeled back in the whole issue that may pour oil on the stormy waters, ameliorate, or simply obfuscate an argument.
Apparently, in order for a country to be a country it must have sovereignty. England does not regulate its own foreign or domestic trade; which control is determined by the UK Parliament, a body with members elected from England, Scotland, and Wales. A country also needs to have control over its social engineering. There is a UK-wide decision making body that determines this in the form of the Department for Education and Skill, a government department. (Rosenberg, M. 2025)
I really don't care whether it is the UK or England that is a country or not and always default to telling people who might want to be appeased that England is not a country because Scotland won't let them be one. I then mention 1707 and King James. You know, King of Scotland and England. I usually stick to facts because I abhor mis-information but sometimes I let my ponderings be heard with caveats such as, 'I think...' and 'Some people think.....'.
Anyway, it might explain why English people should not fly the England flag when there are no sporting events in which the province of England is competing, and why I cannot write 'English' as my nationality on some forms, and I think that included my passport when I was sixteen.
'All rise!'
'You are accused of flying an England flag when there is no sporting event in which England is competing. How do you plead?'
'Guilty'.
'Hence, you are now charged with separatism and committing an act likely to foment rioting.'
'Eh?'
'UK is a province of the country of UK and by flying the England flag you are acting in a similar way to people in Catalan who wish to have independence from Spain. Entiendes?'
'What?'
'Do you understand? You are not English! We only need you to think you are. Vous comprenez?'
'Er...no'
'England no longer exists but we don't want you to realise that your wonderful history is no longer relevant. It is a new world with no place for the pesky English or Bavarians. Verstehen Sie mich?'
At this point the judge put a black piece of cloth on his head.
'Increase his taxes!'
The crowd roared for more.
'Make the hose-pipe ban permanent for him!'
'Boo!' This time the punishment was too severe. There would be an appeal, but first a Scotsman and a Welshman would appear in a dock in Edinburgh and Cardiff, their provincial capitals.
One thing for sure, there is a world-wide mystery about the UK and its constituent countries; England - Great Britain - UK? If England was to describe its current relationship status on a dating app it might have to say, 'It's complicated'.
(09:46am)
References
Rosenberg, M. 2025, 'England is Not an Independent Country', ThoughtCo (website)
Available at: https://www.thoughtco.com/england-is-not-an-independent-country-1435413
Accessed: 30 August 2026