"La vraie compassion, c’est d’aimer ce qui est inachevé en l’autre."
French Proverb
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In the realm of British football, there exists a notable player who remarkably navigated an extensive career without ever receiving a red card—a symbol of immediate dismissal typically reserved for foul play. This anecdote serves as a metaphor for life, where we find ourselves on a level playing field dotted with both clean and dirty players. This morning, I found myself contemplating the latter and was reminded of the French expression "esprit de l'escalier," or staircase wit. This phrase captures the peculiar frustration of thinking of the perfect witty retort only after the moment has passed, hinting, perhaps, at an underlying selfish motive.
Recently, a seemingly mundane interaction at the supermarket brought this concept to life in a different light. As I chatted with the young cashier processing my groceries, I was oblivious to the kind old woman in line behind me, who was observing our exchange with a smile of approval. It wasn't until I had completed my transaction and was leaving that I noticed her expression. After all, we are all damaged good and scars from dirty players, and we all need compassion.
This encounter lingered in my mind for days, her compassionate smile replaying like a comforting melody. It struck me then that I had missed an opportunity to extend my kindness to her as well. In that moment, I coined my own phrase: "compassion de l'escalier"—the realization of a missed opportunity to offer a kind word, coming to me only as I metaphorically descended the stairs of the moment.
From this reflective experience, I learned the importance of proactively offering kindness, whether through words or even a simple smile to a stranger. Life, much like a bustling supermarket, is filled with fleeting moments where kindness can be a beacon of encouragement. It's crucial to seize these opportunities before it’s too late, ensuring that our days are marked not by missed chances but by moments of shared humanity.
Note: The French proverb translated is "True compassion is to love what is unfinished in the other person." It’s a beautiful sentiment about accepting and loving others for who they are, including their imperfections and unfinished aspects. Instead of only loving people for their strengths or their completeness, this quote emphasizes finding compassion for the parts of them that are still growing and evolving.