Checking Out of the Dark Place: When God Finds Us
in view of the interest in the previous blog. Let's follow it up. Augustine of Hippo records in his autobiography a period when his life descended into darkness. He was enslaved by lust, ambition and pride. Although his mother, Monica, had nurtured him in the Christian faith, he repeatedly postponed committing himself to Christ. He knew the truth, yet he could not bring himself to live by it.
The decisive moment came in a garden in Milan around AD 386.
Overwhelmed with despair, Augustine threw himself beneath a fig tree and wept. He cried out to God, asking how long he would continue living as he was. Then he heard what sounded like the voice of a young child—he never knew whether it was a boy or a girl—chanting over and over:
'Take up and read. Take up and read.'
(Latin: Tolle, lege; tolle, lege.)
Taking this as God's answer to his prayer, Augustine picked up a copy of Paul's letters that was nearby and opened it. His eyes fell on these words:
'Let us walk properly as in the daytime, not in orgies and drunkenness, not in sexual immorality and sensuality, not in quarrelling and jealousy. But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.'
— Romans 13:13–14
Augustine later wrote:
'No further would I read; nor did I need to. For instantly, as the sentence ended, it was as though the light of confidence flooded into my heart and all the darkness of doubt was dispelled.'
That moment changed everything. Augustine abandoned his former life, was later baptised by Ambrose, and went on to become one of the most influential Christian thinkers in history.
I have had a similar experience like that of Augustine’s that I have shared in earlier blogs and I think of Augustine because many people today also leave religion, though for very different reasons. Some are swept along by the atheistic spirit of the age, where belief in God is quietly pushed aside. Others leave because they have escaped a controlling religious environment. They expect freedom, yet discover an unexpected emptiness. Years of fear, guilt and manipulation do not disappear overnight. Like that hotel in California, you 'check out, but you can never leave.' High-control religious groups can leave deep marks on the heart.
Yet the Bible never asks us to place our faith in an organisation.
When some people questioned the Apostle Paul's message, they did not simply accept or reject it. They searched the Scriptures to see whether what he said was true. Far from condemning them, Luke says they were 'more noble' because they examined the evidence for themselves (Acts 17:11). Today we have both the Old and New Testaments to do exactly the same.
There is another moment that has always struck me. After many people stopped following Jesus, he turned to the Twelve and asked, 'Do you want to go away as well?' Peter answered, 'Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life' (John 6:68).
Notice what Peter did not say. He did not ask, 'Where shall we go?' He asked, 'To whom shall we go?'
That difference matters.
Christianity is, before anything else, a relationship with a Person. Congregations can encourage us, teach us and walk beside us. They are important. But they are not the destination. Jesus is. As he himself said, 'I am the way, and the truth, and the life.'
History is filled with people who walked away from God only to discover that he had never stopped pursuing them.
The nanotechnologist James Tour has spoken openly about dismissing Christianity as a young man until someone simply invited him to listen to a passage of Scripture. Others have travelled even darker roads before finding hope.
Jewish scientist (James Tour) makes the greatest Jewish discovery!!
The testimonies shared by men and women who believed they were beyond God's reach, only to discover that Christ had been seeking them all along.
If you have left a religion or unaware that God is seeking you. Search the Scriptures with an open mind. Ask honest questions. Read the Gospels again. Follow the evidence wherever it leads.
The God who met Augustine beneath a fig tree still meets people today. Sometimes all it takes is the willingness to take up the Book—and read.