Personal Blogs

Things I have listened to my boy-children argue about today:

There are definitely more things, but this list already seems long enough. Other days have featured topics such as whether a crepe is better than a waffle, shampoo-and-conditioner-2-in-1 or separates, who would win a shark or a bear, the best height, whether it is better to read books or not read books, what number of melatonin gummies would be fatal, optimal levels of strength, crunchy or smooth peanut butter, Monopoly rules (especially around colleting rent when in jail), the best type of fish to catch, and whether "nameless" (the oldest one) could actually wrestle an alligator (he is adament that he could). Different boy-children argue with each other at different times about different things. Sometimes all 3 enter the same debate (and somehow it is possible for 2 of them to join forces against the other 1, while the first 2 also remain at odds with each other - I don't know how they do that). Sometimes there are just 2 of them involved with the third being a silent onlooker, until the debate resolves or seems to exhaust itself, at which point the silent-third-boy will make a seemingly simple comment that triggers the whole conundrum all over again. 

Based on today, which seemed a pretty average day, there will be a minimum of 11 debates a day. Which is 4,015 a year. As Boy 3 was born in 2012 and Boy 1 will move away to college in 2026, there will have been a total of 14 years with all 3 of them living (and fighting) at home. That's 56,210 fights. 

Sitting on my deck this afternoon I saw a robin fly from under a beam to a nearby tree. Looking through the gap in the deck boards I saw she had built a nest and inside it there were 4 smooth teal eggs (this was an American robin - she is brown with an orange breast compared to her British cousin's distinctive red breast; she lays smooth blue-green eggs rather than speckled white eggs; and she is bigger - much bigger - because, well, everything in America is bigger, much bigger...). I did some internet research and while I'm typically in favour of internet information being carefully fact checked I really can't think of a good reason that the internet would lie about robin eggs so I'm going to blindly accept it as inherant truth. I learnt that robins lay 1 egg each day, typically for 4 days. Once they are all laid the female robin sits on those eggs for 12-14 days. Then they hatch. Her job then turns to feeding them. Worms. 

Granted the robin works pretty hard especially during those feeding-frenzy-noisily-demanding days, but as I listened to the empassioned tones of one boy arguing with another about which color is the best color, and whether a grape is better than a cherry, and whether Dad is or is not a secret international spy (apparently, so the theory goes, that's what the recent overseas "business" trips have really been), I looked at the eggs and felt a little envious of the simplicity of her parenting remit of sitting then worm finding. 4 blue eggs seem a lot easier than 3 human teenagers and over 56,000 fights. 

But she only gets to keep them for 12 days. Then they fly away. 

I quite like my 3 boys. On balance, even when there is a passionate fight underway about 'which pasta is the best pasta' and I'm wondering whether I need to go and hide in a cupboard, I'm pleased I get them for more than 12 days. It's not really about how to make the chaos stop, rather its about how I handle it (apprently actually hiding in cupboards is unsustainable).

Lessons in parenting I can take from the robin:

I'm already implementing the first strategy...