Well, here we are again. Today is officially the start of my new university course, and for once I thought I was going to be one of those wonderfully organised students who actually gets ahead of the game. You know the ones I mean. The students who have read the books before the course even starts, made sensible notes, know exactly what the module is about and probably have their assignments planned out before the rest of us have even found the contents page. I decided that this year, that student was going to be me.
And, to be fair to myself, I did actually start reading the books weeks ago. I didn't just buy them and admire them sitting neatly on my desk while convincing myself that owning academic literature counts as studying. I genuinely opened them. I read them. I made notes. I highlighted things. I even told myself, rather smugly, that I was getting ahead and becoming organised. I had visions of myself starting the course calmly, confidently and already knowing what was going on.
Spoiler alert: I am not organised.
What I have actually achieved is becoming slightly more organised at being disorganised.
The books have been opened, there are plenty of highlights, and there are notes scattered around that I am fairly confident made perfect sense when I wrote them. Whether they will still make sense when I come back to them later is another matter entirely. I have bookmarks, sticky notes and pages covered in evidence that I have, in fact, been academically productive. Am I ahead? Debatable. Am I organised? Absolutely not. Do I feel prepared? Well, that depends entirely on how generously we define the word prepared.
Because there is one area where I am absolutely winning: stationery.
My stationery game is strong.
I have pretty highlighters in various colours, because obviously one colour would never be enough. I have pens in various colours because apparently my academic success depends heavily on having the correct shade available when inspiration strikes. I have notebooks, sticky notes, bookmarks and all the other little things that make me feel like I have my life together, even when the evidence suggests otherwise. There is something about a fresh notebook and a new set of pens that makes you believe you can conquer absolutely anything. Give me five minutes with a new highlighter and I genuinely believe I could write a dissertation before lunchtime.
My tutorials are booked, my books are ready, my desk is organised and my stationery is waiting patiently for me to actually use it. Everything is in place. Everything except, perhaps, me.
But maybe that's okay.
I think one of the things I've learned from being a mature student is that you never actually feel completely ready. You can prepare, plan, read ahead, buy the stationery, organise your study space and convince yourself that this is finally going to be the year when everything runs smoothly, but university has a funny way of reminding you that there will always be something unexpected around the corner. An assignment you weren't expecting to take quite so long, a chapter that suddenly makes absolutely no sense, a tutorial where you realise everyone else appears to understand something you have been staring at for three hours, or that wonderful moment when you open your notes and wonder who on earth wrote them because you have absolutely no idea what they mean.
And then there's life, which doesn't exactly stop because you've got an assignment due. There's work, family, dogs, housework, shopping, cooking and all the other wonderfully ordinary things that somehow continue to exist while you're trying to understand academic theory. Being a mature student means fitting university around real life, rather than having the luxury of making university your entire life.
So yes, the course starts today. My books have been read in advance, my tutorials are booked, my desk is ready and my stationery is looking considerably more prepared than I am. I've made a start, and perhaps that's the important bit. I don't need to have everything figured out today. I don't need to know exactly how the whole course is going to go. I just need to turn up, open the book, make a few notes and keep moving forward.
Although, obviously, I shall be doing all of this while using a ridiculously pretty highlighter.
Because if I am going to navigate another year of university, I might as well do it in colour.
Here's to another course, another academic adventure, another mountain of reading and hopefully another qualification at the end of it. I may not be as organised as I imagined I would be, but I'm here, I've started, and I'm ready to give it my best shot.
Well… I'm ready-ish.
The stationery is definitely ready.
I'm sure the rest of me will catch up eventually. 😂📚☕✨
