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Opinion

I keep forgetting. No stimulants in the evenings. Now, I am not a 'foodie' nutritionist conspiracy-theory influencer, but I do know that black pepper is a stimulant. It seems that any hot spice is. I have trouble staying asleep. Monsters from my past wake me and introduce me to the monsters of today. My neighbour likes to host these wild parties. If there is such a thing as spiritual music that is not 'music of the spheres' and is more like a thumping bass a flat upstairs which drives the beat to stomping feet then my neighbour and his monster cronies sure do know how to throw one. My only defence against this mindless morass of intermingling entities is to be as bereft of stimulation as possible. There must be an hiatus of interesting stuff in the evenings. 

Why then, did I skip supper and eat three-quarters of a packet of cream crackers with cheese, tomato, onion and black pepper between them? Surely, I know better than that! My dad would say to me 'That's it! You didn't think!' when I might say now, 'I didn't think it would keep me awake.' I know it will.  Last night, my heart was bumping along and saying 'Fancy a dance?' to any spiritual monster that came near. I have heard that our hearts will try to keep the rhythm of music that our brains can hear. It is to do with the Beats Per Minute (BPM). I definitely wouldn't be able to sleep if I can hear 200 BPM in my bedroom. On occasion I have had a heart rate of 200 but typically it is evident with Formula 1 racing drivers during a race. Sometimes, after a bit of a weekend with mates, our hearts can beat quite quickly and strongly. That is enough to wreck a good nights sleep.

I ate so much cheese last night that I was still dreaming this morning before I woke and noticed a line of mice queuing up just to smell my breath. 

       'Mmmm, lovely!'

       'Hurry up! It's our turn!'

I love black pepper so much, especially now because I have forgotten to buy any for probably a year, that I just had to satisfy my need for immediate gratification. This morning I eschewed the beans on toast I normally have for breakfast and fried up some cooked potatoes, whitefish and peas just so I could put black pepper on everything. 

What the heck is wrong with me? I know, I shall force myself to stay awake and put my ear to the keyhole of the door that stops me entering the spirit party just to listen to their mindless bumps. That is just stupid! I already know I micro-sleep during the day so why would I encourage that?

Sometimes, I have to take a good, hard, long look at myself and try to figure out where I am going wrong. I mean, yesterday I bought two different brands of anti-bacterial liquids in bottles of 220ml and 300ml. I ran a spreadsheet when I got home to find out which one was the cheapest by millilitre. Yet, I also looked around my home and told myself that I live like a pig and should do some housework - I only swept the floors and did the washing up this morning. 

It seems that believing I only have one life and I should be the best version of me so I should always go the extra mile does not come down to real practical things. By the way, Astonish is cheaper than Fabulosa by millilitre of diluted anti-bacterial liquid.