Well, I hope you all enjoyed Christmas, and looking over the weeks headlines, it’s good to see the spirit of Christmas is alive and well in the Tory party.
From Osbourne’s ‘strivers and skivers’ speech, to Alec Shelbrooke’s big idea to give welfare claimants cards, that can only be used for essential items, and now we have Iain Duncan Smith planning to cut welfare for up to three years to discourage the lazy and wanton, and all those who are living the high life on benefits!!
Now, I have a solution to all these problems, I ask you, why stop with cards? If they really want to be sure that these ‘skivers’ don’t use the taxes that us ‘strivers’ pay, to spend on things like drink and cigarettes let’s take it one step further. Why don’t we put tags on them like they do with criminals, then with all thBe technology we have, we can track their movements, or better still, although this one probably applies to the long term unemployed more. If they’re out of work for more than six months, we could have them chipped and pinned like they do with dogs. We could give the police scanners and if they find anyone in a pub and/or smoking, or walking along the street with a carry out, then they could be scanned and if they are on benefits, we could have them arrested and cut their benefits. We’d save the tax payer a fortune!
But, now when I think about it, this might prove too expensive. Maybe we should try something else, I know, we could have them wear a special kind of badge that shows they’re on benefits, and then if someone sees them drinking or smoking or spending their money on non-essentials, we could set up a hotline where they could report them. Of course it should be free, but I don’t really think the hard-working strivers of this country would mind spending a pound or two to rid the system of another scrounger. Who knows, we might even end up in profit!!
Come to think of it, badges might not work either, well, they could take them off you see, it would be difficult to enforce, and cards too could be expensive, and then if they lost the card it would have to be issued again, even more expense.
Right, what about this instead of cards at all. We could set up stores where they would have to go on a weekly basis to collect the essentials they need to live on, then they wouldn’t need money at all. I’m just thinking, we could kill two birds with one stone here, as well as controlling the spending of welfare recipients, we could also put those with weight problems on a restricted calorie diet, thereby fixing the obesity crisis as well. Simple eh?
But now when I think about it a bit more, there could be a more efficient way of organising all this. I actually have very good organisational skills, did I not tell you, oh yes, I am a model of efficiency when it comes to getting organised. I’m also good with ideas, I know, I’m a real all rounder! Maybe I should join the Tory party!!
Right, so how could we make it more efficient? I’ve got it, why don’t we round them all up and put them in camps, after all, they are parasites feeding off the rest of society and really they don’t deserve to be part of society so we should separate them from all the ‘good hard-working strivers’ in this country. Yes, that’s a better idea and they can stay in the camps until they get a job which, of course, we will help them to find.
That’s definitely a better solution, but then what would you do in a recession when people can be out of work for a long time and there might not be any jobs? Hmmm, now that could be a problem and it could prove to be very expensive over the long term. Give me a minute to think….Ah yes, I’ve got it, you know at times I amaze myself with my thinking! We could have them put down, yes, that would work, wouldn’t it? I wonder if anyone would object, that’s always a possibility, you know how people are always banging on about human rights these days.
Hmmm, let me think what we could do to drum up support for the idea. Well, we could always run campaigns in the papers and pick out some of the worst cases to show the hard-working strivers how these parasites are sucking the life blood out of this country. Yes, the Daily Mail would definitely be interested in that, and we can always count on Rupert’s media empire to support us. Oh and do you know what else we could do, we could sell it as a green solution to the problem of over-population, reduce the surplus population, reduce the green house gases and save the planet too, I really am brilliant when I get going, if I don’t mind saying so myself!
Now that that’s sorted, how are we going to actually get rid of them? I know, maybe we could shoot them all, that’s quick and fairly painless. One bullet per person, to the head, that would work best, wouldn’t it. It would definitely be the quickest way, and maybe we could get the bullets from Asda, I hear they’re great for this sort of thing. Oh sorry, I should explain, Asda are Walmart, they’re just called Asda here. Who knows, we might even get a discount for buying in bulk. Maybe we could even help them out with the problems they’re having with their workers going on strike in the US.
Now there’s another line for the business to expand into. Oh yes, we could make a business out of it because everyone knows that the only thing that matters in life is business and making a profit. Yes, people have to work, that’s what they’re here for isn’t it? I mean, have you never heard of the old saying ‘Work will set you free’? Yes, I remember reading that somewhere, there was a place where they had it above the gate, it began with A, I think, oh it’s slipped my mind now, but I’m sure it will come back to me, anyway……
Now that I think about it, the shooting thing might not work either, it might be a bit time consuming, having to shoot each one individually. I’m sure there’s a much quicker way of dealing with all this….YES! I’ve got it. We could do them in batches, round them all up into a room, it would have to be sealed of course, and then drop in something, like poison gas! Yes of course, it’s such a simple solution to a simple problem, I can’t understand why we didn’t think of it before!
Which is really what the Tories big ideas are all about. Simple solutions thought up by simple-minded people. It’s very easy to paint everything black and white, it’s easier to group people into categories and stick labels on them and ignore the fact that you are dealing with individual human beings, in individual circumstances. To think like the Tories requires no real thinking skills at all. In the world of Osbourne, Shelbrooke and Duncan-Smith, people on benefits are scroungers, skivers, parasites, feeding off the backs of the hard-working men and women of this country, the good people, the taxpayers. But when you really look at it, who are the real parasites feeding off the people?
I mean, what about the global corporations? There is a myth about the economy in this country that is continually supported by the media, I recently heard it repeated again on the BBC news. You have heard it too, when pundits and politicians talk about the ‘decline in manufacturing’. THIS IS A LIE. There was no decline in manufacturing in the UK . What happened was that companies took all the manufacturing jobs from here and moved them overseas. All the manufacturing jobs that used to be done here are now being done in places like China, India and Turkey . Most of these jobs were traditionally done here by the working classes but under Margaret Thatcher’s ‘free market economics’, (after she wrecked the unions and with the help of Rupert Murdoch’s media empire turned Union into a dirty word), companies were able to chase their profits around the globe from one exploitable, low-waged economy to the next.
But here is the paradox in all this. The people here are still expected to support a first world economy even though their jobs were allowed to be taken away by their government so that all their business friends could make bigger and bigger profits while those who were lucky enough to have a job have found the value of their wage going steadily downwards.
And this is another thing I have often wondered about, WHY ARE ALL THE PEOPLE WHO WORK FOR A COMPANY NOT ALLOWED TO SHARE THE PROFITS? One person may start a business but it takes a whole army of workers to build it up and maintain it. No one became a millionaire or billionaire by themselves alone! Where is it written is stone that the person who started the business is the only one entitled to the profits it makes?
There are only two things in nature that take more than they need, one is man and the other is cancer. Anyone who operates in this ethos of greed, who sucks up a bigger share for themselves and is quite happy to sit and watch his fellow man go without especially, when he has more than he will ever need, is a cancer on the face of humanity. These people are the real parasites.
And now, in the midst of a recession, caused in no small part by the very party whose initial policies led to these problems to begin with, they arrogantly scapegoat the working classes and unemployed, and blame them for the present economic ills when they had little or no control over them at all.
Margaret Thatcher and business leaders promoted an ethos of greed in the 1980’s, it is still alive and well in certain sections of the business community and the present Government, and is evident in the arrogance and simple-minded outlook of Thatcher’s Children and their policy ideas. In their view, it’s dog eat dog world and tough luck if you lack the skills and/or money to survive in it.
Let’s all ignore the fact, that they are members of the party that created this world, that it was their policies that allowed the jobs of the working classes to be taken away, that skewed government policy and the law to favour big business and the corporations, that know nothing of the reality of life for the millions who are struggling daily with real poverty, who sit in their mansions pontificating to the rest of us about money and values while cutting housing benefit for the young, who deride the public sector but are quite happy to take THEIR wages from the public sector, who want to dictate to a man who has lost his job and is now living on £71 a week dole money, how he should spend it, while having done nothing to protect workers and their jobs.
Yes, Merry Christmas, Mr Cameron and Co, may the new year find you all on the dole and the sooner the better for us all, and shame on you Nick Clegg for keeping these people in office!