We have recently begun work on the Uxbridge Dictionary of the Periodic Table. Here are 10 sample entries
Bromine: A mean brother.
Iodine: Thanks Dean!
Flourine: The floor.
Silicon: Pathetic attempt at a scam.
Boron: I'm not interested but continue if you must.
Gold: Similar to rhinitis.
Antimony: Preferring barter.
Zinc: Place for washing dishes.
Arsenic: Buttock injury.
Hafnium: 50% of Holmium.