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Nikole Karissa Gaye

Surviving First Year as a Mature Student: Sunburn, Stationery, and Slight Delusion

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Well, that’s it. First year completed.

Honestly, if someone had told me twelve months ago that I would survive university life while juggling two dogs, three children, marriage, advocacy work for SEN students, a memoir manuscript, unpredictable weather patterns, and approximately seventeen emotional breakdowns over assignment deadlines, I probably would have laughed politely before going back to reorganising my stationery drawer.

And yet, here we are.

I have somehow made it through the first year as a mature student, although not entirely unchanged. I’m definitely wiser, considerably more tired, and perhaps a few pounds heavier thanks to stress-snacking my way through essay season. At this point, I’m convinced mature students should receive honorary medals alongside their grades — preferably delivered with coffee and a week of uninterrupted sleep.

This year has genuinely felt like studying inside a tornado. One minute I was confidently colour-coding lecture notes with what began as three sensible highlighters and somehow escalated into five “essential shades,” and the next minute I was outside revising during the May heatwave, getting spectacularly sunburnt while pretending I had my life together. Who expects to be burnt alive in Britain in May? Certainly not me. I started the afternoon looking like an academic and ended it resembling an exhausted tomato, questioning every decision I’ve made since enrolling.

The weather alone deserves its own degree. I’m fairly certain I experienced all four seasons walking to lectures some mornings. Add in two dogs who firmly believe laptops are simply heated beds designed specifically for them, and it’s remarkable any assignments were submitted at all.

Then, of course, comes the annual tradition every student dreads: choosing next year’s modules. Nothing quite humbles you like reading module descriptions that sound both intellectually fascinating and emotionally catastrophic at the same time. I’ve spent weeks trying to decide whether I should challenge myself academically or simply pick whichever lecturer seems least likely to upload twenty-seven readings the night before class.

Still, somewhere amongst the chaos, something remarkable happened this year too.

My memoir is finished.

Not half-finished. Not “almost there.” Completely written and currently in print with publishers, which still feels surreal to say aloud. A true survival-against-all-odds memoir written during late nights, early mornings, school runs, assignments, family life, and those moments where giving up would have been the easier option. Looking back now, I honestly don’t know how it all fitted into one year.

Actually, that seems to be the biggest lesson I’ve learnt from this experience. You never really “fit it all in.” You simply learn how strong you are when life gives you no alternative.

Being a mature student is very different from the romanticised university experience people imagine. Many of us arrive carrying entire lives alongside our backpacks. I’m not just a student. I’m a wife, a mother of three, an advocate for SEN students, a dog owner, a writer, and a woman trying to build something meaningful while still remembering to buy milk and answer emails. Some days it has felt less like balancing responsibilities and more like performing circus tricks while on fire.

What have I learnt from juggling everything?

Possibly nothing practical.

I still leave assignments later than I should.
I still buy unnecessary stationery, believing it will magically transform me into an organised academic goddess.
I still underestimate reading lists and overestimate how much coffee one human can safely consume.

But I have learnt that resilience does not always look graceful. Sometimes resilience looks like submitting coursework five minutes before the deadline while reheating forgotten tea for the third time. Sometimes it looks like advocating fiercely for others while quietly doubting yourself. Sometimes it simply looks like getting up again the next morning and continuing anyway.

And despite the exhaustion, despite the chaos, despite feeling permanently one notification away from collapse, there have been moments this year where I’ve genuinely felt a bit like Superwoman.

A slightly overwhelmed Superwoman with sunburn, too many highlighters, and a suspicious addiction to buying notebooks she doesn’t technically need — but Superwoman nonetheless.

So here’s to surviving first year.

To the mature students balancing families, responsibilities, careers, neurodiversity advocacy, finances, pets, and life itself whilst still showing up to learn something new. We may not look polished doing it, but we’re doing it anyway.

And honestly, that feels like an achievement worth celebrating.

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Nikole Karissa Gaye

From Care Homes to Classrooms: A Mature Learner’s Resolve

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There’s something slightly rebellious about being a mature learner.

Not rebellious in the leather-jacket, loud-music sense. More in the “Yes, I do own seventeen highlighters and I’m not afraid to use them” kind of way.

This week I received my TMA 03 feedback — 89% for my blues choice. Eighty-nine percent! I read the score once, blinked, then read it again in case the screen was having a generous moment. It wasn’t. It was real. And for a brief, beautiful second, I allowed myself to sit in it.

For someone who never had the chance to get a degree the first time round, that 89% wasn’t just a number. It was proof. Proof that it’s never too late. Proof that lived experience counts. Proof that chaos can, occasionally, be colour-coded.


When Sadness Teaches Us

Life’s saddest moments have a strange duality.

They can crack us open and help us relate to others on a deeper, more human level — or they can make us want to pull the duvet over our heads and ignore the world entirely.

This week I celebrated my mum’s birthday. She passed away in 2023 after a battle with cancer. Ironically, she battled with alcohol for most of her life, yet cancer was the thing that finally took her.

Grief is complicated like that. It doesn’t arrive neatly packaged. It sits with you at the kitchen table. It whispers in quiet moments. It turns birthdays into reflections.

But here’s what I’ve learned: grief also sharpens empathy.

When you’ve lived through loss, you hear people differently. You notice the pauses in their sentences. You recognise the bravery it takes just to show up. Sadness, as heavy as it is, can deepen us — if we let it.


Care Homes, Classrooms and Finding My Voice

I spent much of my childhood in different care homes.

It’s not something I used to talk about. For a long time, it felt like something to hide. But experience has a way of reshaping itself over time. What once felt like instability has become determination.

Growing up without a consistent voice advocating for you makes you acutely aware of children who struggle to express themselves. The ones who sit quietly. The ones labelled “difficult.” The ones whose behaviour is louder than their words.

Those are the children I want to stand beside.

Becoming a SEN teacher isn’t just a career ambition for me. It’s personal. It’s a promise — to use my past to amplify someone else’s future.


Highlighters, Post-it Notes and Embracing the Chaos

Returning to education as an adult is humbling.

You sit at a desk thinking, How did I forget how referencing works?
You celebrate understanding a theory like you’ve just won a small Olympic medal.
You develop a slightly unhealthy attachment to stationery.

But there is something beautiful about choosing growth.

I never had the opportunity to get a degree when I was younger. Life was survival. Now, life is intention. I am determined to embrace the chaos — the schedules, the late nights, the essays fuelled by tea and stubbornness — as part one of my ambition to become a SEN teacher.

Mature learning isn’t about proving you were always capable.

It’s about proving you’re still willing.


Making Something Beautiful

I suppose what I’m really trying to say is this:

Take the challenges.
Take the grief.
Take the missed opportunities and the messy beginnings.

And use them.

Use them like snow settling on a spider’s web — fragile threads suddenly illuminated against a grey sky.
Use them like morning dew catching the light before the world fully wakes.

Pain does not have to be the end of the story. Sometimes it’s the ink.

This week I celebrated an 89%. I celebrated my mum. I celebrated the small, stubborn part of me that refuses to give up.

And maybe that’s what mature learning really is — not just academic growth, but the quiet decision to turn every hard chapter into something meaningful.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have an essay to plan, three mugs of tea to drink, and at least four highlighters that urgently need to feel important.

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Nikole Karissa Gaye

The Glamorous Life of a Mature Student (Spoiler: It’s Mostly Tea and Chaos)

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Ah, the life of a mature student. People think it’s all intellectual debates, neatly highlighted notes, and serene moments of enlightenment. In reality, it’s more lukewarm tea, misplaced pens, and wondering why you ever thought going back to study was a good idea after a full day at work.

Today began like any other — the noble quest to conquer adulthood and academia simultaneously. I spent the morning at work making folders (thrilling stuff), helping students (bless them, though half of them seem to think I’m Google with legs), and trying not to cry into the photocopier. My desk looked like a cross between an admin battlefield and a stationery graveyard.

After surviving the day armed only with caffeine and mild sarcasm, I trudged home, dreaming of my “gourmet” dinner — lovingly prepared by my husband: a chicken burger and oven chips. Michelin-star chefs could never. He even made me a cup of tea to go with it, because nothing says “I love you” like a well-timed brew.

As I sat down to eat, our dogs came bounding over like furry missiles of affection. In their enthusiasm to say hello, one launched herself into my lap, and the tea went flying; my beautiful burger took a nosedive into the cup. So now I had tea-flavoured chicken and chip-infused regret. The dogs looked delighted, of course — they thought it was performance art.

Outside, the weather matched my mood: cold, grey, and generally unhelpful. I gave up on salvaging dinner, put the kettle on...again, and decided the universe was clearly telling me to have an early night.

No studying tonight. No guilt. Just pyjamas, a blanket, and the faint smell of damp chips lingering in the air. Tomorrow, I’ll refocus. I’ll be productive. I’ll tackle my to-do list like the mature, organised student I pretend to be.

But tonight? Tonight, I’m just a tired human with soggy dinner memories and tea stains on my socks.

Here’s to all the mature students out there — juggling work, study, and life’s little disasters. May your folders stay neat, your dogs stay calm, and your tea stay safely in its cup. ☕🐾


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