All my posts: https://learn1.open.ac.uk/mod/oublog/view.php?u=zw219551
or search for 'martin cadwell -caldwell' to eliminate caldwell returns (take note of the position of the minus sign) or 'martin cadwell blog' in your browser.
I am not on YouTube or social media
[ 5 minute read ]
A.I. is my twin
Hah! I think I am A.I. The bits I leave out in my conversations is similar to the A.I. partially generated song, ‘Omoide Scroll’ by AKB48; that Japanese girl band we all know, with, apparently forty members in it. It sounds like someone edited a magnetic-tape master recording in the dark with a blunt pair of garden shears, and without listening to any of it.
Yesterday, according to BBC Culture, the article, ‘Japanese girl group release AI-assisted single after fan vote‘, “….there was a competition between composer Yasushi Akimoto, whose songs have collectively sold more than 100 million copies, [going] head-to-head with an "AI Akimoto" trained on his writing style.’
Mind you, the BBC said at 0900 o’clock, in the morning, AM, yesterday, that Akimoto’s song entry has been deleted from YouTube; it hadn’t.
Well, I am one up on the BBC then, because I don’t make stuff up or lie. Give me £174.50 annually, for fun, multi-faceted truth, or £58.50 annually, for just a black and white focus on reality.
This is what you might get for your trial week of reality:
‘The BBC has made a mistake.’ ‘Summer has ended.’ ‘Pepper plants are actually perennials and can be stored over Winter to continue to grow next year.’
Please enter your debit card details for access to more news – Get the facts, unfettered, unbound and uncircumscribed. Warning. If you continue to listen to truth without subscribing you risk being better off, or your job promotion may come sooner than you want, and that person you don’t like will try to be your friend.
Here is some more news:
‘The UK government and monarchy has flicked two fingers up to all its past state visitors and raised a middle finger to future visiting dignitaries by pulling out all the stops for an unprecedented extravaganza of pageantry. It is to celebrate the cessation and subsequent zenith rise of a former colony.
Australia, which was the runner-up in the competition for the best space for dumping people who stole bread in England between 1778 and 1868, was awarded first place after America’s disqualification from the competiton for the best place to dump criminals in 1776, was granted America’s quota of naughty British people. Australia is now planning to clone a prominent geriatric American, as their mascot. I read somewhere that a white person asked an Aboriginal what an animal that had big back legs and a strong tail and hopped about was called. The answer he got was, ‘Kangaroo’, which, I heard means. ‘I don’t understand you’. I hope it is true. I would be the one to be sent to find a left-handed screwdriver, as a new worker. Interestingly, we should use the right arm to drive screws in and the left arm to take them out; something to do with which muscles we need to use for each action.
A few days ago, I left some tomatoes in an egg box on my neighbour’s doorstep. If you are sneaky and fool her for a moment, she is the one with the wonderful smile that says, ‘You got, me you rascal!’ I don’t mean to fool her, she just interprets me differently to what I think I am doing. I suppose she was expecting to find eggs in the egg box and was surprised to find tomatoes. Unfortunately, I missed that smile. I wasn’t aiming for that anyway. I just had nothing else to stop them rolling away. She surprised me back by leaving an egg box on my doorstep.
‘Oh no!’ I thought, ‘She has returned the tomatoes. Have I annoyed her?’ I thought. Some people feel obligated to reciprocate gifts. They don’t feel comfortable getting something for nothing. Strangely, I am one of those. Anyway, I was surprised to find six eggs inside. How weird is that? Eggs in an egg box! It was a suitable response. Apparently she can get eggs free from where she works, and, of course, if you grow a lot of tomatoes the value of each to the grower is tiny but significant to the recipient. Everything was there, even the surprise.
So, on my news channel: ‘Man surprised to find eggs in an egg box.’
I had a girlfriend who worked at a vivisection place. She stole some ducklings and made me look after them until they were old enough to be released on our local river. They were all female and would let me stroke them when I visited them as they grew into full adults.
I never get home deliveries but I got a phone charger delivered yesterday. In all seriousness. There is something more to it: Someone can buy a secret phone in person in a shop, to hide from their partner, but we can no longer get a charger with it. Chargers are bought separately online. The receipt with the charger has a business name ‘Love and Magic Ltd.’ at the top, but the receipt is for a Fast Wall Charger and the web site is mobilefun.co.uk. Nicely ambiguous website name. There is no mention of what the charger is for. Even the tracking emails from Evri say ‘Your Love Parcel will be delivered today.’ Cool!. Really, really cool! I love it! I absolutely love it!
If I had a live-in partner I would have to explain why there is a payment on the joint bank account statement to ‘Love and Magic’. Nosy her, would be waiting a long time for that special present. In the meantime, I would just carry on disappointing her with myself.