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[ 3 minute read ]
If only I had time
Tesco has a listing for just plain old WD-40. It also has the same thing that I think Amazon started (you may also like this / other people bought this). Tesco online has the WD-40 and then, 'People bought this next': a banana, paracetamol, and Tesco de-icer. Who is buying WD-40 online that leaves a trace or trail like that?
I need something to free-up the front gear-set and pedal from the spindle (the cog(s) that the chain goes on, on a bicycle and where the pedals are). Most everyone is saying WD-40. It is not cheap. In a search for it I discovered that there is a specialised 'freeing' spray and lubricant, which is about 50% more expensive in some places. Only special tool centres sell that and I only want a tiny bit so... well, I don't know.
Of course, we can shop around. Who is buying WD-40 online that leaves a trace or trail like that?
It could be a mechanic/garage owner in a small commercial garage with not a great deal to do, yet still sucks air through their teeth when you take your mechanical device to be fixed, as though your problem is barely surmountable.
After a brief look: Ah ha, I am going to need some WD-40 for this one. I shall get it delivered from Tesco. Oh, look at the delivery charge. What else can I buy to make it more cost effective?
'Do you think you can do the job for me?'
'Oh yeah, I'm just looking for what I need for the job. Tricky stuff, you know. You can't just do this kind of thing in your common or garden shed!' Blimey, it's nearly lunch-time....a banana, bit of a head-ache from last night with the gang...paracetemol; ooh yeah, got to get some de-icer! Dunno why.
'How much do you expect it to be?'
'What? Oh, we shall have to see. There is no telling how long it might take. Have you tried fixing it yourself? '
'Yeah, I tried poking it, licking it, and casting a free-ing spell.'
Fingers tapping on the keyboard.
'Okaaay'
Lets see ..... £5.50 for the WD-40, 16p, 35p, and £2.75. Is that enough for a home delivery? Let's make it four bananas for 64p. Multiply all that by four gives me £36.96. Call it £45 and add on labour charge of £37 per hour makes it £83.....call it £90. Add on VAT at 20% is....£108 in total.
'£115 should do it, but I will phone you if it starts to look like it will cost more, how's that?'
For a hammer? 'Well, okay then. Do you think you might have it done by tomorrow morning? I need to go to Tesco today, but I can leave it here right now.'
'Yeah, leave it here. Better come back tomorrow afternoon, just to be sure.'
'Oh thank you so much!'
*
I tried 'Frying Pan' in the Tesco search bar and that just suggests more cookware; 'garden hose' and that gives no suggestions; and 'Easter Eggs' but that just suggests more chocolate-based products. it seems that WD-40 might be the only weird thing that makes people drift into making their own highly individual life-choices. It does have thousands of uses.
The thing is, I was in a Pound shop a couple of days ago, and there was a special offer of 'Buy 3 for £1' on paracetamol and Ibuprofen. I had to think, 'Do I get more inflammation than just pain?' So, the paracetamol in the list of 'Things bought next' on the Tesco online site really is part of a person's individual life-choice, that carries with it quite a bit of reflection and reasoning.
Don't you think it would be great if every time you get a parcel or package delivered, you get a piece of fruit as well? Do people order their lunch from Tesco online to be delivered to their place of work?
Let's see, do I want to take this job? There is a microwave oven and tea and coffee-making stuff. Oooo, and a fridge! So, yeah. I can get Tesco to deliver a few days worth of my lunches here in the mornings and collect it from reception to put in the fridge and microwave. Oooo! Hot pork-pies and Scotch Eggs!
'Yes, I think I would be very happy here. So, yes, I can start Monday.'