In Robert Burns' poem, "Tam o' Shanter,"
Burns describes a character, Kate, Tam's wife, who is portrayed as
“Nursing her wrath to keep it warm."
Image generated with the assistance of Microsoft Copilot
This vivid line from the poet, captures the idea of someone holding onto anger and resentment, allowing it to linger and fester. It's a hallmark of Burns' ability to observe and portray human nature with both wit and poignancy.
In the shadow of the Holocaust’s unspeakable horrors, Corrie ten Boom emerged as a quiet but radiant example of grace. During World War II, her family chose to shelter Jewish people in their home, a decision that led to her arrest and imprisonment at Ravensbrück concentration camp. There, she faced the darkest sides of humanity, losing her sister Betsie in the process. Yet, out of this unimaginable suffering, she discovered the freeing power of forgiveness.
Years later, while speaking at a church service in Munich, Corrie was approached by a man she instantly recognized. He had been one of the most brutal guards at Ravensbrück. Now, standing before her, he extended his hand and asked for forgiveness. Corrie froze. She could feel the weight of every cruel moment she had endured under his watch. Forgiveness felt impossible. But then she remembered Jesus’ words: “Forgive, and you will be forgiven.” In that moment, she silently prayed for the strength she didn’t feel, took his hand, and extended grace. What followed was a sense of liberation that transcended human understanding.
We’ve all been there, haven’t we? Someone wrongs us, maybe deeply, and the memory sticks. We replay it in our minds, nurturing the hurt as though holding onto it will somehow make things right. And yet, as the saying goes, “Is someone living rent-free in your head?” It’s a question worth asking. Who’s occupying your thoughts without your permission?
When we refuse to let go of past hurts, we carry them like a heavy backpack, feeling their weight in every step we take. The truth is, while we’re nursing our resentment, the person who hurt us may have moved on—or they may not even know the depth of the pain they caused. Meanwhile, we’re the ones stuck, reliving the offense and letting it shape our lives.
But Jesus calls us to a different way. When Peter asked Him how many times, he should forgive someone—suggesting a generous seven—Jesus replied, “Not seven times, but seventy-seven times.” He wasn’t asking Peter to count to 77 and stop. He was showing that forgiveness isn’t about keeping track but about living with a heart open to grace.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean pretending the hurt didn’t happen or saying it was okay. It’s not about denying the pain or reconciling in situations where trust has been shattered. What it does mean is releasing the hold that person has on you. It’s about letting go of your right to retaliation and entrusting the situation to God, who sees all and promises justice.
Corrie ten Boom often described forgiveness as a key that unlocks the door to freedom. For her, holding onto bitterness would have been like dragging the horrors of Ravensbrück into every day of her life. By forgiving, she didn’t erase the past—but she stopped it from defining her future.
The process isn’t easy. Let’s be honest—it’s often the hardest thing we’re asked to do. Forgiveness rarely happens all at once. Sometimes it’s a daily decision to loosen your grip on the hurt. Corrie herself admitted that the act of forgiving that guard didn’t come naturally. It was God who gave her the strength to take his hand.
If forgiveness feels out of reach for you right now, that’s okay. It starts with acknowledging the pain. Name it. Bring it to God. Tell Him how much it hurts and ask Him for the strength to move forward. Jesus never asks us to forgive in our own power. Instead, He walks with us, reminding us of His own forgiveness—freely given, no strings attached.
Remember the moment Jesus prayed for His executioners? “Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing.” If He could extend that kind of grace in His darkest hour, surely, He can help us extend it in ours.
As you think about the people who might be living rent-free in your head, ask yourself: is it time to let them go? Forgiveness isn’t about excusing their behaviour or letting them back into your life. It’s about reclaiming your peace. Corrie said it best: “Forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door of resentment and the handcuffs of hatred.”
You hold the key. And when you’re ready, you’ll find that forgiveness isn’t just a gift for them—it’s a gift for you.