Sambovikt: The contentment derived from long-term trusting relationships
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I was having a chat with a man who was doing work in my house recently. In our brief conversations, we had much in common. We both lost our parents in our teenage years and one thing becomes apparent, the loss hits harder as you get older. In both our cases, it was death that caused the loss.
The conversation rewound me back to the mid-90s whilst crossing over from Newcastle to Gothenburg on the Princess of Scandinavia. I had a drink before bedtime and went upstairs to the top deck to shake off the vodka effects. The Northern sky was clear, all the stars were out, all of them in infinite silence. Being alone, they belonged to me; no one else would ever see this exact constellation again. Feeling helpless in the moment, I became like Bergman in The Magic Lantern, who also had his demons, I silently concealed my insane wail and feeling imprisoned forever as I thought of my adopted father whom I lost when I was 12 years old. I mused:
Meet me amidst the ocean
Under my Northern sky
To the light of constellations
As our restless stars pass by.
This is why I like the Swedish word, sambovict, It stands upright and for me, it is what it means to be human. Too many children are growing up without one of their parents, quite often the father. I pray for the pain they go through and will go through in the future. Happiness comes from secure long-term trusting relationships, not only for the couple, but the children born to the couple.
My father closed his eyes when I was twelve, I understand the pain a child goes through in the absence of the father figure. Children need guidance, daily direction, and bedtimes stories that capture their imagination. The stories that make us human. Goodness, I recall my dad reading David Copperfield, Oliver Twist and Pinocchio. Many single fathers and mothers rise to the occasion, but trying to prop up house and home and deal with the emotional fallout of divorce intensifies these pressures.
Children also need both parents to say, “Well done” or both parents to be honest and suggest improvements.
But when one parent is not around. Well… they grow up with a deep sense of loneliness and the feeling that something is missing in their life.
“ Above all these things, walk in love, which is the bond of perfection.”
Colossians 3:14 WEB
Writing: © 2024 Jim McCrory