Personal Blogs

Ah yes, today started with such promise.

The birds were singing. The sun was shining. I was (theoretically) ready to conquer another chaotic day in the life of a mature student with more to do lists than memory space. Armed with the kind of determination only seen in caffeine fueled gladiators… except, of course, I hadn’t had coffee yet.

Because, dear reader, I made the rookie mistake of thinking I could function without it.

Let me paint you a picture: I am a grown adult, with bills, responsibilities, possibly some back pain and a fondness for sensible shoes, trying to juggle a full-time job, study, and maintain the illusion that I know what I’m doing. Some people juggle flaming swords. I juggle lecture notes, deadlines, and forgotten passwords. Today, I dropped all three and somehow hit myself in the face with a metaphorical bowling pin.

Let’s rewind.

I was in class, notebook in hand, scribbling furiously because, apparently, I’ve decided that shorthand and hieroglyphics are the same thing. The student next to me, a lovely creature with the brain elasticity of a newborn dolphin (read: sharp and terrifying), asked if they could see the notes from last week.

“Of course!” I said, smiling like someone who had their life together.

But instead of handing over their notes, you know the ones I had helpfully taken for them while they were out, I handed over my notes. My personal, chaos driven stream-of-consciousness doodle diary. Complete with side tangents, passive-aggressive reminders to buy bin bags, and a very detailed sketch of a confused duck (don’t ask).

Ten minutes later I heard the words, “Umm... is this... a grocery list and a drawing of a duck fighting capitalism?”

Why yes. Yes, it is. Welcome to the inside of my brain. Population: confusion.

Meanwhile, at work:

I was somehow still expected to be a functioning adult in a workplace setting. My boss asked for a document. I stared at him blankly for a moment, then nodded confidently like a professional who totally hadn’t just written “email ducks to boss???” on a Post-it note and stuck it to her laptop.

At one point, I walked briskly into the staff kitchen with purpose. I forgot the purpose halfway through opening the fridge and just stood there, hoping the hummus would give me a sign.

Spoiler: It did not.

Lessons learned today:

1. Never trust yourself to do anything before caffeine.

2. Label your notes like they are radioactive materials.

3. Your classmates do not need to know you name your plants or have a three-point plan for how to survive an alien invasion.

4. Do not try to juggle when your brain is a confused goldfish with stage fright.

So now I sit, coffee finally in hand, notes back in my possession, one sock inside out, wondering if anyone will notice that I wore two completely different shoes today (update: they did). But I survived. I may have limped through the day with my dignity dragging behind me like a toddler’s blanket, but I’m still standing.

To all my fellow mature students out there: keep juggling. It’s okay if you drop the ball, just make sure it doesn’t land in someone else’s lap with your weekly meal plan and a poorly drawn duck attached.